Bittersweet Mistakes
by Dalila Dusk
Summary: Tessa looses her memory in an unexpected attack of the Clockwork creatures. Unable to remember anyone, even herself, she is stuck in the cross fire of the Enclave and her family at the London Institute.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N : Do keep in mind-this is my first ever fanfiction. I've had this idea for a while, and I wanted to share it with everyone on here to see what you all think. I appreciate ALL feedback, and hope that you reply if you decide to read. =) P.S. Keep in mind that this first chapter is just setting the stage, and that the more interesting chapters are to come. **

**Disclaimer: ****I do NOT own the Infernal Devices plot or characters. … Thought, I wish I did. . **.

It had been a solid three weeks since Tessa and Will's argument on the roof, not a word past the boundaries of pleasantries passed between the two. Even through the studious attempts to ignore him, Tessa had been having difficulty keeping her mind from drifting to the inevitable string of events. At first, she didn't know how to react. It had been an odd first few days, her moods ranging from hurt to a deep, incurable discomfort . On the other hand, William hadn't been faring any better. The most awkward of times seemed to be the spontaneous passing of each other in the numerous institute hallways. One would nod or speak of the weather while the other either answered or deflected, pasting on a false feel of being at-ease. Neither realized exactly how the other thought or felt, the endless spiral of confusion reaching in to every aspect of their lives.

Even now, as they sat down to share a meal with the rest of the house's inhabitants, their thoughts haunted them.

"You're so _infuriating_." With a huff, Jessamine clenched the napkin draped across her lap.

William merely folded his hands under his chin with a half smile, his eyes a deadened shade of navy. Seated next to him, Jem fiddled with his fork and ignored the growing tension.

"Oh Jessie, you wouldn't understand the meaning of infuriating if not for me. For this, you should be thankful for once in your life."

Tessa shook her head in exasperation and glanced sidelong at Charlotte, who seemed to be oddly interested in her stuffed-pork.

Jessamine went rigid, her face flushing a quite unlady-like shade of red. It was obvious from her expression that the comment has struck a nerve. Deciding to keep her composure, she deflected the comment to turn to Charlotte. "Excuse me." she said stiffly, rising from her chair. "Tessa, please escort me out. I'd like to take a walk."

Looking down at her half full plate, Tessa groaned internally. She'd spent the day penned up in the library, nourishment pushed to the back of her mind. However, in light of the current situation, she didn't see it wise to decline. With a curt nod, she gathered herself and rose from her chair.

"Jessie…" Charlotte mumbled, splaying her hands on the table as if preparing to follow them. "I don't think you two should be out at such a time, it's nearly nightfall."

Jessamine waved her hand dismissively, turning her back on the women. Tessa felt a pang of guilt, watching the obvious worry etch itself across Charlotte's face.

"I'll go." Jem volunteered, setting his silverware aside.

Tessa grinned in relief, pushing in her chair. Jem was the friendly in-between that she needed whenever she was with Jessamine.

"I think not." The girl retorted, sinking Tessa's happiness like a stone. "I can handle myself." Without another word, she shot Tessa a look and spun towards the exit. Her olive gown tickled the floor as she neared the door, swinging it open and sweeping through it theatrically.

"That woman has enough pride to rival the devil." Will spoke, his expression indifferent.

"William." Charlotte replied, warning lacing her tone.

"What, she isn't here. Not that I'd mind if she was."

Tessa avoided his sudden glance in her direction, nodding her head at Jem. "Thank you, Jem. I don't imagine we'll be going far, so please don't worry."

He nodded, apology in his eyes. "Do be careful, Tessa."

She smiled at that, looking down at her toes as she followed Jessamine's heel prints to the door.

"Tessa…" Jessamine muttered, her voice low. They had since left the institute, arriving at the street corner a half block away. "I'm sorry for taking you away from your dinner."

Slightly taken aback, Tessa took a seat next to Jessamine on the wrought-iron bench that perched itself on the overgrown curb.

"I don't mind."

They sat in silence, watching as the sun lowered itself from sight. The sunset reflected itself off of the trees lining the street in front of them, sending a breath-taking array of shadows across the gravely pavement below. A warm breeze blew from behind them, coppery tendrils of hair escaping the loose bun tied at the back of Tessa's neck . It was beautiful, and a quick suppressant to Jessamine's dark mood. They may have found themselves a little oasis.

The sound of a carriage caught Tessa's attention as Jessamine began to gather her dress and stood.

"I feel a bit better now, so we can start walking back ."

"Mm." Tessa mumbled, her eyes drawn to focus as the suspected carriage lurched into view and slowed to a stop across the street from their corner.

Curious as to what had taken her attention, Jessamine turned to look over her shoulder. "What…"

It felt like an eternity as the two assessed the rugged exterior of the carriage, and what seemed to be a man seated on the cushion up front. He made no move to loosen the slack of his reigns as he stared ahead stonily.

"Tessa, let's go." Jessamine directed, her tone flat. Tessa only nodded, her eyes sliding from the driver as they clicked along at a quickened pace back down the street. She couldn't be gladder that they hadn't gone more than a block from the institute. Not that there was any reason to be excited, was there? The two stared straight ahead of them, intently counting the steps as they neared the main gate.

They were approximately three quarters of the way back when Jessamine suddenly grunted, swaying forward.

At a loss for words, Tessa stumbled to catch her, freezing as her eyes caught sight of what seemed to be a hilt protruding from her mid back. Her eyes darted to look behind them, her blood running cold. The man who had been sitting up front of the carriage now stood past the street corner, fifty feet away from the two. His arm was poised forward; his stance alerting Tessa to the fact that he had been the one to throw whatever it was that was now sticky with Jessamine's blood.

"Tessa, Tessa…" Jessamine coughed, her voice raw with pain. An icily pale hand reached behind her, groping for the handle she couldn't reach.

Tessa knelt, her mind whirling. "Jess, we have to move; we're almost there." She stammered for words, careful not to nudge the hilt as she slung an arm across Jessamine's back and hoisted her up. Glancing behind her, her breath caught. The man had begun walking at an eerily slow pace, his arms limp at his sides, towards them.

Jessamine groaned in pain, hanging her head as she began trudging forward. Blood dripped from the puncture, painting a horrific picture as it stained her dress and trickled onto the sidewalk. "Tessa, go, you have to run to the gates." Her voice caught, and she dragged in a breath.

"No, I won't, just keep up with me." Tessa helped the girl forward, keeping her steady as they limped their way towards the gates. Just as she was sure they would make it, she craned her head to look behind them. The shadow of a man had hunched itself over the residual puddle of Jessamine's blood, it's hands and arms dragging along the ground.

'_It's going to be able to get in.' _her thoughts pieced together as she slouched against the bars, fumbling with the lock. A pair of hands shoved hers out of the way, easily unlocking it.

"Thank you." Tessa breathed, earning a disapproving look from Jessamine as they fell through the gate. After lowering Jessamine to the ground, Tessa spun to re-latch the thick chains. Turning back towards the institute, she realized that Jessamine was no longer with her. The girl had crawled her way up the steps, slouching against the wall as she tugged at the solid gold chain beside the door. A booming echo could be heard through the walls of the institute, even as Jessamine wailed at the sudden jolt of pain caused by the fading of her adrenaline.

Tessa risked a final glance through the bars, stumbling backwards with a shriek as a hand clawed its way towards her. The memories of a similar situation sent a chill to the soles of her feet, numbing her toes. Jessamine's cries had sparked the anguish of what had once been Jem's. That had been the night of Thomas and Agatha's downfalls, and just as nearly, hers. The thought of her losing any of the other's spun her around and threw her up the first few stairs.

Just as the sound of metal hitting pavement reached her ears, the institute doors boomed open. Jessamine gurgled unintelligibly, her eyes lolling to the side as William darted across the threshold.

Everything past that seemed to be thrown into slow motion.

Tessa remembered feeling a hand close around her throat, the pressure of it spotting her vision almost immediately. She could hear someone shouting her name as if from a far away, the fear tangible in their tone. Her fingers scraped fruitlessly at the cuff around her neck, breaking loose only when her captor heaved her to the side. Her body whipped through the air, hitting the ground with a sickening thud. She rolled to the side, having landed mainly on her head and shoulder.

It felt as if hours had went by as she remained like this; drown in the overwhelming sense of pain, she tried to move. Struggling, her fists dug into dampened ground as she attempted to right herself. It felt as if all of the breath had been knocked out of her, her neck tightening painfully as someone grabbed at her shoulders and twisted her onto her back.

Their lips shaped words she couldn't hear, couldn't understand. Liquid sapphire eyes burned into hers as a hand swept the loosened hair out of her eyes. Noises began to buzz at the edge of her hearing, shouting, screaming. She could feel a burning sensation begin on her hip, tingling until it had reached her shoulder. Unconsciously, her eyes began to fill in anguish.

The eyes widened, fear evident in the glaze of emotion.

With the next wave of sensation, all went black, and she saw nothing.

**So… what did you think? =) I have something to ask-if you believe that I should continue, that is. Though I have decided that Tessa should /temporarily/ loose her memory, I haven't quite landed on exactly **_**what **_**she should forget. So, you have two choices! =D**

**1)Tessa forgets about everyone and everything involved in the incident. This only includes Jessamine, Will, and the Driver of the Carriage. **

**2)If you are like me and **_**love **_**fluffiness, and lots of it, Tessa can forget everyone and everything except that pair of sexeh eyes at the end. ;) Now, yes, this means she forgets Will too-but since she only remembers his eyes-interesting things happen when they meet each other again. **

**It's up to you my dear, dear readers-majority wins!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you all so much for your reviews! I was so happy that I wrote this chapter this morning before I had to go in to work. =) Please enjoy, and don't forget to tell me how you feel! **

**Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING.**

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><p>As Tessa awoke, nothing could seem more normal. The pillow beneath her head was soft and warm, the bedding that surrounded her bunched comfortably around her torso. The room was silent as what appeared to be dawn broke through the crack between the cloth curtains and a bird call sounded, muffled by the glass.<p>

Rolling onto her back, she stretched her arms above her head and smiled in contentment. A pang went through her as she attempted to sit herself up, rising a soft curse from her sleep-laden lips.

A soft chuckle from her opposite bedside had her frozen, ignoring the pull of her muscles when she whipped her head around.

"Good morning, Miss Gray." Spoke the silvery haired man, his matching eyes alight with humor.

At a loss for words, Tessa merely nodded. With her eyes glued to the man, she shifted to pull the large comforter towards her chest. _'For God's sake,'_ she thought, _'I'm only wearing my nightgown.' _ What sort of man watches a women sleep? How improper.

"I've sent Sophie to fetch you some tea in the case that you decided to wake up, looks like it was a wise thing to do." The man rose from the high-backed armchair and leaned towards her, a lean hand outstretched. "You look quite pale Tessa, is everything alright?

Though the motion looked harmless enough, Tessa flinched backwards slightly. Catching herself at the opposite edge of the bed, her eyes wildly searched his face.

As things began to come into focus, the sleep drained from her eyes. Suddenly, she realized that she did not recognize the bed that she was now in, nor the room or man that now seemed quite taken aback.

"Tessa?"

"W-who are you?" She stuttered, overly aware of the heartbeat that drummed through her head and made her shake with its rhythm.

The man's mouth parted slightly, his hand dropping. She watched his eyes glaze, calculating.

"Please excuse me, Tessa, if this is too forward… but, do you know where you are?"

"Of course I don't." she hissed, gripping the headboard for support as she slid her legs to the floor. The room's floors were warm as she dragged the comforter with her to the opposite wall.

'_Why does he keep calling me by my Christian name?' _she thought, oddly irritated.

He visibly winced at her curtness, a vague hurt flashing across his features.

"I see," he said slowly, rising from his chair, "please excuse me for a moment."

He shot her a final look before crossing quickly to the door, closing it softly behind him.

After a brief pause, Tessa padded her way to the door. Testing the handle, she realized with a spurt of giddiness that the man must have forgotten to lock it in his hurry.

Glancing to the side, her eyes picked up a glint of green in the corner of the room closest to her. She slunk herself towards it skeptically, curiously tapping the cane with her toe. When she decided that it was safe enough to touch, she lifted the slender, but oddly heavy tool into her firm grip. The top of the object seemed to be sporting some sort of animal's head, beautifully sculpted gems of green staring up at her.

Towing the cane with her, she made her way back to the bed. She quickly made work of adjusting a second, more suitable gown around her middle. It seemed to be nothing more than a robe of sorts, but it would be much easier to maneuver in than the bedding.

Against her will, she felt a pit of unease unfurl itself inside her. What exactly did she plan to do once she got out of this place, if she could? How would she find out where she was?

Shaking the questions away, she slipped back to the door. All she knew, for right then, was that she needed to get out of there.

The door swung open just as she reached for the handle. As quietly as she could, she spun herself to the side, following the door so that she was concealed behind it. In terror, Tessa had to pinch her lips together to keep herself from breathing.

"Miss Gray?" a feminine voice chirped, the sound of clanking china sparking a memory.

'_That man said that someone was coming to serve tea, a Sophie.' _

"Miss Gray, are you dressing?" the woman asked, her voice muffling as she made her way to check behind the paper screen.

Without another thought, Tessa slid from behind the door, bounding silently across the room. Before the shorter girl had a chance to turn, Tessa brought down the black section of the cane across her shoulders with a sweep of her arms. Sophie groaned slightly before toppling forward, landing with a thump on the wooden floor.

Tessa almost felt guilty as she darted for the open door, her feet tiptoeing over the now shattered porcelain cup.

Candlelight spilled over the dark interior of the hallway as Tessa pushed herself over the threshold. She paused briefly out in the open, frozen in fear. She could hear footsteps, coming from the right. Just as she darted to the left, the whisper of lowered voices reached her.

The girl thanked the heavens as she ducked behind a strategically placed statue of what seemed to be an angel, pressing herself against the wall. The cane rested itself against her thigh as she used a space behind the statue as a peek-hole.

"What the hell do you mean she can't remember you?" a gritted voice spat, clearly closer than she expected. They must have paused outside her door. She let out a breath when she realized she had indeed closed it behind her. "I'm not sure, but do be careful, William."

She could almost hear the rolling of the second man's eyes, followed by the soft creaking of her door. "By the angel…"

At that, Tessa began to silently scoot herself along the wall.

"What is it?" the calmer gentlemen asked, his footsteps freezing after he had stepped into t he room.

'_They're in the room!' _her thoughts screamed, her body twisting into a full-blown sprint along the edge of the hallway. Her breaths racked out of her, cane held to her side as she finally reached a fork. Ducking around the corner closest to her, she fought against the pain in her side as her feet beat against the carpeted floors.

"Miss Gray!" a voice called from far away, telling her that they had yet to find her out. "Miss Gray, please!"

Just as her lungs felt as if they would explode, she came upon a large set of double doors, wasting no time as she threw herself onto them and over the t threshold. Closing them as quietly as she could, she limped her way to the farthest part of what she quickly found out to be a library. At any other point of time, and in any other situation, she would have been captivated by such a magical place. Lean, tall bookshelves lined the walls and stood in rows for what seemed like miles. Everything was illuminated by the breath-taking glass windows on the opposite wall, smiling at her in her pain.

She jogged her way to the last row of shelves, ducking into the cover of their shadows as she slowed to a stop. Everything about her ached, starting from the soles of her feet to her loose and disheveled hair. Her breaths began to come as small whimpers, the kink in her neck intensifying now that she had stopped running.

A shudder rocked through her at the boom of the double doors, obviously rushed footsteps turning her blood cold.

Forcing herself up, the leaned heavily on the cane for support. _'Damn it.'_ She thought, limping her way to the end of the shelf and ducking behind the corner. In horror, she realized that her side had been oozing blood when her toe caught the small puddle that had ringed itself back around the shelf to where she had collapsed.

She flipped the cane around so that the animal's head was on the end, her slick hands tight on the smooth wood. She would have to fight, because whoever was here now would find her.

She bit her lip, her arm shaking as the footsteps stopped, an inhalation of breath alerting her that they had seen the tracks.

"Tessa." The voice called, worry lacing their tone. The footsteps started up again, quicker now as they reached her.

She was sure they were close enough when she heard the man's shoes squelch with moisture.

Squeezing her eyes shut, she heft up the cane. With one, final burst of energy, she dove from her hiding place and swung the cane as hard as she could muster.

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><p><strong>WOOT-chapter two done! =) Please, please tell me what you think. I really did appreciate you're reviews. =) I'm hoping to add in some Jem lovin', even though the story will eventually play out in Will's favor. Thank you so much for reading-update for chapter three soon to come! <strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**Well, here we go. Please be nice. Ooh, oh-and I NEED SUGGESTIONS. Be a dove and review.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, nada, notta bit.**

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><p>She could feel the connection before she could see it, sort of like getting struck by lightening. Not that she had any experience with that, of course.<p>

The man grunted, black hair thrashing to the side as he ducked his head on instinct.

His hand shot out to grip her forearm in a vise-grip, the pressure enough to make her yelp and loosen her grip on the cane to allow for him to yank it from her grasp.

Even though it had missed the mark, the blow hadn't been totally unsuccessful. It seemed, by the way a tear had formed in his overcoat, that she had nicked his arm.

"Damn it." He cursed, maneuvering so that he had her pinned against the line of books. "What the hell has gotten in to you, are you trying to kill me?" His eyes bore into hers, liquid sapphire on nickel. Something unreadable flicked across his face, his breaths wafting across her cheeks and throat.

His tone struck a nerve, somewhere deep inside her. The feeling of unease and fear hastily worsened, and she felt panicky an unsteady on her feet.

"Let go," she began, her tone rising hysterically, "I said let _go_." Her knee shot upwards, catching him by surprise. As he flinched away, the stab landed solidly in his abdomen.

Tessa used the opportunity to spin herself away from him, slipping up as she ducked back around the last shelf of books.

"Tessa, stop." He called after her, his footsteps audible past her ragged breaths. She ignored him, limping as quickly as she could across the slick floor.

"Tessa!" He had caught up to her quicker than she had anticipated, pulling her towards him by her shoulder. The movement hurt, her neck cramping awkwardly enough to knock the breath out of her.

Before she could resist, he had locked her wrists firmly behind her back with one hand. The other looped itself around her waist, holding her in place.

She struggled feebly, her body finally catching up with her mind. She couldn't seem to breathe, frustrated tears welling in her silvery eyes. _'They're going to make me change,' _she thought, her shoulders heaving with a dry sob, _'and they're going to hurt me.' _ The man froze, his mouth parted in an unspoken apology.

Visions flashed before her of a large room, the stench and moisture enough to drown her like a fish. Day after day, her powers used like a machine. It made her sick then, and now, to think about such things. Though, she couldn't stop, not when it was about to happen again.

"Will, Will?" a voice called, followed by the loud creaking of the library's double doors.

"Here." The man, Will, responded, his voice echoing around them.

She could feel his heart beat on her back, rapid, much like her own. It was odd, this feeling, that she'd been here before. Like an unknown déjà vu, the kind that can't be possible because of the fact you've never met nor seen a person before.

Two pairs of footsteps sounded at his reply, what seemed to be two people rounding the corner at an alarmingly fast rate.

"Oh, my." The shorter, brunette women mumbled as Tessa came in to view. Her hands fluttered to her sides helplessly, her eyes appraising Will. "William, what did you do?" The man next to her, whom Tessa recognized as being the silver haired man from that morning, stared at her wordlessly. "She's bleeding."

William froze, his grasp immediately loosening at the comment. "She was like this when I got to her."

Tessa shoved Will backwards with her hands, relieved when he obliged. Turning slowly, her chest heaved. "Stop talking about me like I'm not here." For some reason, she felt an overwhelming rise of anger at the man, this Will.

"I'm not." He replied, his eyes eyebrows raising a fraction as he righted himself. His overcoat was splotched russet, hair hanging loose into jewel colored eyes. He felt a pang of anger, her gray eyes so familiar yet so foreign.

"Jem, "the women spoke, her voice cautious as she turned to the silver haired man. "Magnus will be here shortly."

Jem nodded, his eyes reaching for Tessa's again. "Miss Gray, would you escort us back to your room, please?"

The woman and William went silent as Jem approached her, offering her his arm.

"Show me out." Was Tessa's reply, the back of her throat burning with emotion.

Jem froze, his eyes widening. "Tessa…"

"Please," she whispered, hanging her head. Her hands groped behind her for support, finding the ledge of the nearest shelf. It was so unlike her, she thought, to be so yielding. She had only begged a select few times in her life, each ending in a different way. The most prominent being her imprisonment to the Dark Sisters.

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><p><em>Cracked and oozing fingers wound there way into Tessa's hair, giving a sharp tug as she scrambled to her feet. "Stop, please stop." She whimpered, tears rolling down her dirt crusted cheeks. <em>

"_Miranda will stop if you do as you're told," the witch crooned, folding her meaty hands on the desk in front of her. "You don't need to be told again." _

"_I don't know what you want, I don't understa-" "Silence!" Tessa was cut off, a jerk to her scalp hushing her better than anything ever could. _

_Miranda's other hand remained steadily in front of Tessa, a bloody sewing thimble in her palm. _

"_Now, proceed."_

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><p>The women pushed herself past Jem, moving so that she was standing in front of Tessa. "Tessa, we aren't trying to hurt you." She spoke steadily, her hand resting itself on hers.<p>

"Don't," Tessa spat, her eyes meeting the woman's. "I don't want to hear it."

Charlotte drew her hand away, shock written across her face. "By the angel, so it's true."

Tessa looked away, momentarily confused.

"You really have forgotten everything, haven't you?"

"W-what?" Tessa turned back to her, anger in her eyes. "Why do you keep saying that?"

Charlotte swallowed, shaking her head slightly. "You were injured…"

As Charlotte hastily explained what had happened, both Will and Jem remained silent. The two were both preoccupied with their thoughts, each set of eyes glued to Tessa's face. And as the moments passed, they realized just how serious the situation had become. With Charlotte, they relived the events of days before.

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><p>"<em>Will, who's there?" Charlotte called as she entered the foyer, pausing when she realized the door had been hanging open. "Will…" <em>

_A scream echoed from outside, freezing her in her tracks. Without another thought, she spun towards a seemingly innocent looking coat-rack, quickly detaching a hidden seraph blade before rushing for the exit. _

_Just as she was about to throw herself out the door, she nearly tripped over Jessamine._

"_Charlotte, help…" she cried, bloodied hands scraping at the door-jam. _

"_Jessamine, what happened?" she buzzed, gawking at the hilt protruding from her back. _

_"T-Tessa, someone came for me and Tessa." She stuttered, collapsing once Charlotte had pulled her inside. _

"_Tessa…" Charlotte repeated, dark thoughts flitting through her mind as she made Jessamine as comfortable as she could a few feet from the door._

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><p>"And then I finally made it outside…" Charlotte continued eyes ghosted and unseeing. "Will had taken out the clockwork demon and was tending to you when I arrived."<p>

"Clockwork demon?" Tessa whispered, her lips dry and cracked.

Charlotte merely nodded, unaware of its effect on Tessa. Her eyes roamed the book titles as she continued, showcasing Tessa's move from the front lawn to her room and the following nights. She spoke of Jessamine's forced treatments of iratzes and how she hadn't since left her room, silent and brooding for days.

When she finished, she smiled sadly, gaping as she looked up at Tessa. The girl had since blanched, her skin an icy shade of ivory. There were no tears in her eyes, just a deep shock and confusion. If what Charlotte had said wasn't true, then why couldn't she remember anything past the Dark Sisters? It was as if time had stopped short from then to now, a tangible wall throwing Tessa into a headache.

She ran a hand over her face, her expression blank as she focused on the ground.

This was going to be a long day.

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><p><strong>Honestly, I didn't like this chapter. Throughout the whole thing, I couldn't help but think that Will, Jem and Charlotte, not to mention Tessa's characters were totally OUT of character. There wasn't a drop of fluffiness, and that, my friends, is not okay. For there to be fluffiness, they have to be alone. Enough said. Ideas for the next chapter? By ideas, I need to know how Tessa and Will should meet back up-and not in some cliché', cheesy way. Please leave your reviews-they've helped me so much. <strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hello everyone. =) I'm back with chapter 4 of Bittersweet Mistakes. After reading all of your suggestions-I tried my best to squeeze as many as I could into the plot/story. 1) This chapter is obviously longer than the others. 2) Some Jem fluffiness has been added, though it's just a pinch. =D 3) Though Tessa isn't having a nightmare, we'll see how you like her 'rude awakening'. Please enjoy, and don't forget to reveiw. =) Thank you~**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Infernal Devices, and of the sections or quotes that I used from it or it's characters and original plot. **

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><p>-Tessa-<p>

The sun was high over mid-day London, the view from one of the many library windows dazzling. Tessa almost smiled to herself, watching as the multiple painted panes splashed color onto the smooth wooden floor beneath her.

She had been since taken to the infirmary, the blood on her scratchy nightgown an indication of nothing more than a torn stitch. Mrs. Branwell had, of course, suggested that Tessa rest while her injuries settled, quickly earning a disapproving shake of the head.

She wanted to move; she wanted to think.

It seemed that she had woken a bit later than she had originally thought, relishing in the warm breeze that drafted through the spacious room. And once again that day, she sent out a silent prayer to remember what she had forgotten.

After Mrs. Branwell had tended to her, she began to replay the events of the past few months. She began with Tessa's arrival, with it bringing the mystery of her brother and parents. Will, as Mrs. Branwell had referred to him, had been the one to rescue her from the grasps of the Dark Sisters. They, as Tessa knew, wanted her only for her powers, and to be the bride of the Magister. The Magister had searched for Tessa ruthlessly; various spies and clockwork creatures haunting her like a shadow. But she was dead now, in his eyes.

Then arose the assault of De Quincy, a powerful London vampire. Tessa's ability had willingly been used to assist the Clave in his capture. He had been torturing humans for his clan's and own personal enjoyment, conscious of Clave rules. While in the midst of infiltrating De Quincy's home, Tessa's brother had been found as the human subject of the night. Shortening the story, Mrs. Branwell had informed Tessa of Nathan's immediate rescue and removal to the Institute.

"_But, Mrs. Branwell, why isn't my brother here now?" _she had asked, receiving a sad smile in return. Charlotte, as she was corrected, offered her a seat.

"_That brings me to the final; excuse me, latest part of your story, Tessa." _

And with it, Tessa experienced the first flash of memory. She could see, feel the cold betrayal in the words; she could taste it on her tongue, the bitterness. The sensation had made her shiver, chilled in the firelight.

Past the warm comfort of Charlotte's voice, the suspicion melted away. Tessa believed her, every word of it. She absorbed, soaked in the words like a child did a story; a horrible, horrible story. She believed, but she didn't remember. With this realization brought a deep, frustrated pain.

"_Thank you Charlotte, thank you for telling me." _She whispered, unaware of the tears that dripped down her face and gathered on her eyelashes. Charlotte nodded slowly, squeezing her hands over the top of her glossy mahogany desk. She looked worn, pale in the light of the hearth, as if telling the story had taken something out of her. _'Guilty,'_ Tessa had thought, _'she's guilty for telling me this.' _ Wiping away her tears, Tessa did her best to paint a smile onto her face. Her control held steady as she excused herself, wishing for rest. Charlotte had hastily agreed, offering to escort her back to her room. After kindly declining, Tessa made her way to the only solitude she could think of.

In all honestly, she hadn't remembered the direction of her room.

She lounged in a particularly comfortable arm chair for hours, her stocking feet draped over the arm from underneath the folds of a pale blue dress. The sun fell farther and farther towards the horizon as a sense of time slipped away, her eyes roaming the various murals painted along the ceiling and walls. She never once decided to browse the shelves, the titles unappealing in her preoccupied state of mind.

The sound of echoed footsteps had her mind reeling, as if pulled from a deep slumber. She felt lightheaded, almost groggy as her head lulled to the side to investigate.

"Is everything alright?"

It was the silvered haired man, Jem. He walked towards her with a friendly smile, jade-eyed cane at work beside him. His hair was damp, his face flushed as if he had taken a bath.

Tessa nodded slowly, straightening herself properly. "Quite, thank you." She abruptly wondered how she looked, raising a hand to tuck a curl of hair behind her ear.

"I though I'd come check on you. Charlotte had informed me you had returned to your room, sleeping I presume. I thought I'd find you here after I discovered you gone." he spoke, taking a seat opposite her on a red-matted sofa.

Tessa nodded silently, too self-conscious to correct him. She briefly thought of the room she had woken up in, how Jem had scared the living day-lights out of her in his seemingly unending kindness. She remembered her behavior, the pained look in his eyes as she had moved away from his touch. And then it occurred to her, that she was supposed to know this man.

"I'm sorry about this morning, how I treated you." She mumbled, staring at her feet.

He followed her gaze, smiling warmly. Leaning over the back of the sofa, he emerged with what seemed to be wool blanket. Wordlessly, he handed it to her.

"T-thank you." She stuttered, swallowing as she accepted the orange bundle. Moving to drape it around her shoulders, she realized how cold she had been.

"I don't blame you for reacting the way you did this morning, I would have done the same thing." He answered, his eyes twinkling. "Well, maybe that's not the truth. Waking up to the eyes of a beautiful woman isn't exactly a nightmarish thought."

His forwardness stunned her, her cheeks flaring as she buried her chin in the fluffy slack. Laughing nervously, she shifted in her chair and averted her eyes.

Realization dawned on his face, the smile wilting as he pressed his lips together. _This _Tessa he had known for only a day, if that. The thought itself was something that would take time to get used to.

His tone forcefully cheerful, he rose from his seat. "I'll have to excuse myself, Miss Gray. It seems to be getting quite late, and I wouldn't want Charlotte to have to slave in the kitchen all by herself for tomorrow's breakfast." Making his way to the door, he paused to look over his shoulder. "And Miss Gray, if you don't mind me saying, don't overwork yourself trying to remember everything all at once. It will all come back to you in due time."

She stared after him as he exited the room, a rush of emotion sweeping her breath away. _'Goodnight, Jem.'_

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><p><strong>William<strong>

All he knew is that he'd be damned if he cared.

He shoved his hands into his trouser pockets as he made his way down the dimly lit corridor, brooding. It would be just him, Charlotte, Henry, and possibly Jem at dinner that night. Tessa had quickly refused Charlotte's invitation, claiming that she'd much rather end the night a bit earlier than the usual. She had been anxious, her slightly breathless tone confirming his suspicions.

He had been there as Charlotte replaced the soaking bandages, standing idly by as the girl grimaced in pain. Though it had only been a few stitches, he could see how the gash ran from the bottom of her waist to her ribs. He could still see the way she hit the ground, her shoulder holding her firmly in place while the rest of her curled towards her face. She had landed on the edge of gritty pavement, hence the injury in her side. Thank god, he thought, that it hadn't been her head that caught the edge.

It haunted him, this memory, as he walked on. He walked passed the dining room, appetite gone as he thought. He could feel his mood take a sudden dive, his regret twisting to anger at himself. She was the same person, memory or not. It was silly, no; stupid that she couldn't remember anything. All she had to do was try, and all would be as it was.

He paused, staring at the carpet. All would be as it was?

Images began to flit themselves across his mind, a slideshow of unwanted memories as his feet began to move, quicker than before. He saw Tessa's face, flushed and glowing as he pulled away from her. Silvery brown hair cascaded down her shoulders, soft and damp with holy water. An angel, everything he'd ever wanted and couldn't have. He watched her freeze with his harsh commands, watched as she spun away from him and ran. He'd hurt her.

He turned a corner, his body in control as his mind whirled.

Her smile, as bright as the sunset over London. She had news, good news, as she put it. _"Charlotte says I can stay here," Tessa said. "At the Institute." Will said nothing. "She said there's no Law against it," Tessa went on, a little bewildered now. "So I won't need to leave." _ He had been cruel, cold. Did she deserve to remember, did he want to?

_His gaze was steady. "If you are not interested in my offer . . ."_

"_Stop," she said. This moment, she thought, was like the edge of a broken bit of glass, clear and sharp and painful. "Jem says you lie to make yourself look bad," she said. "And perhaps that is true, or perhaps he simply wishes to believe that about you. But there is no reason or excuse for cruelty like this." _

_For a moment he looked actually unnerved, as if she had truly startled him. The expression was gone in an instant, like the shifting shape of a cloud. "Then there is nothing more for me to say, is there?"_

_Without another word she spun on her heel and walked away from him, towards the steps that led back down into the Institute. _

It was if someone had pinned him inside of himself, and set fire to his soul. As he watched her walk away, he could do nothing but stare after her as the tiny bits that were left of his heart smoldered and burned. He had her her then too.

"Will?" a familiar voice called, reeling him back to reality as he slowed to a stop.

Jem smiled curiously, almost immediately aware of William's mood. "Are you heading to the dining hall, because-"

"No." Will barked, sidestepping him. An obstacle around his middle had him glaring at his parabati.

Jem removed his cane, meeting Will's gaze steadily. "Tessa's been opening up a bit more to Charlotte, and she doesn't seem as anxious around the lot of us as she had been." He said, inhaling deeply. "It seems she's coming around bit by bit. Charlotte's informed me that she's filled her in since her arrival here." He continued without a pause. "There is still much for her to learn, much for her to re-live if her memory has yet to restore itself. Best to be as considerate as possible, it's the best thing for her now." He watched the other man, pausing for a response.

When he received nothing but silence, he continued on his way down the hall. If Will wasn't sure, he'd say he seemed to be leaning a bit more on his cane for support these days.

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><p><strong>Tessa<strong>

Tessa opened her eyes to the sound of the library door opening for what seemed like the fiftieth time that day. "Master Jem?" she whispered, unknowing of any other way to un-Christianize the use of his name. The hearth had since burned down, shadows cast wildly across the walls by the thin layer of remaining embers. Everything seemed wider, as if the library had expanded in her sleep. She felt as if she were in the forest at night, lost and frozen to the spot with fear.

Gathering the thick cover of wool to her face, she peeked out from the comfort of its depths. No one had answered her when she saw a flicker of movement in the direction of the door. Against her will, her eyes scanned the abyss of shadows, her mind's panic playing tricks on her.

'_Just go to sleep,' _she thought, smothering herself underneath the blanket. _'Sleep until morning, until there's light.' _

At first, she began to drift off. Against the stare of the shadows, the suffocating heat of the wool was a paradise. She counted back from one hundred, her breathing even as her silvery eyes drooped with sleep.

She heard the creak of a floorboard, the release.

Her breath, having caught, plugged itself at the back of her throat as her eyes flew open. It was just her imagination, nothing more than a trick of the mind.

She felt something touch the exposed hair that had draped itself over her shoulder. It was nothing more than a caress, a brief meeting before it was gone again.

Thoughts flicked through her mind, pictures of demons and monsters from her childhood bed-time stories. She felt a rush of adrenaline jump-start her heart, her bottom lip slipping between her teeth.

She didn't know what she was going to do, but she knew she couldn't spend the night like this.

Gathering every ounce of self-confidence and bravery she could muster, she tensed herself.

She felt a brush, a bit more noticeable at the cuff at her hand. Listening intently, she heard what sounded like a sigh. _'A person.' _

Giving herself a mental nudge, she made a snap decision. Letting out a held breath, she swung her hands upwards. The blanket fisted between them whipped skyward, catching the person by obvious surprise as they stumbled back. Using her entire body, she threw herself off the couch, straight onto them as they struggled to untangle the wool.

The blanket slipped from the man's face, showing an all-be-it dumbstruck Will as the two crashed to the floor. Tessa fought to keep him down as her hair tangled itself into her face, silvery eyes wild with fear. Making sure to use her nails, she put all of her weight onto the tops of his arms, straddling his torso from underneath the wrinkled plume of her dress.

Will ignored the sudden stab of pain, his mouth gaping up at the rabid angel above him. Through the terror, he could read the sudden flash of recognition across her face, a thin gleam of sweat setting her face aglow in the light of the hearth. Her breaths wafted across his face as she breathed out a question. He shuddered, an unbearable wave of desire tightening his stomach as her lips shaped the words. He was speechless. Tightening the grip on his arms, she asked it again. "Why are you sneaking up on me in the middle of the night?" She spat the words through her teeth, the back of her mind wondering how she was going to get out of the current situation while somehow alerting Charlotte or Master Jem.

Before she realized what had happened, they had reversed. Will pressed her wrists to the floor, the wool blanket an uncomfortable knot at her lower back. She stared up at him, dizzy with the exertion of the switch. "W-William." She stammered, the name presenting itself from somewhere in the depths of her mind.

Something unreadable flickered through his eyes, which Tessa had noticed were quite blue. Very, very blue. "It's Will, just Will."

She paused, swallowing nervously. "Will." Only then did she realize his proximity.

He looked at her, straight through her. And then his mouth was one hers.

Taken by surprise, Tessa could do nothing more than yield as he pressed his lips to hers. It was a soft, tension filled brush of flesh as his breath warmed her skin. The pressure on her wrists intensified as he closed the space between them, deepening the kiss with a newfound rush of heat. Shocked, Tessa did nothing to stop him as he ran a hand down her waist, moving to caress the side of her face with his fingertips. She shuddered with the sensation, her free hand winding its way through his thick, black hair. It hit her how desirable, how perfect he was. It was otherworldly how fast these emotions had fallen upon her.

It was as if her body had a different mind, a separate mind. She felt _right _being like this with him. It was as if it had happened before; William being more than just another man. With a shock, she realized that she _did _remember him. He was in her thoughts. Hidden, but there.

_When he leaned toward her and brushed his lips across hers, she reached for him as if she would otherwise drown. _

The memory was like a shock, her fingers stilling themselves in the soft folds of hair.

_And then, without warning, he ripped his hands from her and pushed hard against her shoulders, shoving her away from him with such force that she nearly fell back-ward, and only stopped herself awkwardly her hands braced on the floor behind her._

…

"_God in Heaven, what was that?"_

_Tessa felt her cheeks turn scarlet. Wasn't Will the one who was supposed to know exactly what that was and wasn't she the one who was supposed to have pushed him away?_

"_I can't." His hands were fists at his sides; she could see them trembling. "Tessa, I think you had better go." _

"_Go?" Her mind whirled; she felt as if she had been in a warm, safe place and without warning had been cast out into a freezing, empty darkness._

…

"_Very well," Tessa said, and saw with a mixture of amazement and pain that the lines of tension went out of his shoulders. Was it that much of a horror having her t here, and that much of a relief that she was leaving? _

He rose at her sudden stillness to gaze at her, his breath catching as tiny beads of moisture dripped from her eyes.

"_You care for me," Will said. His voice was cool and sure. "And you know that I admire you, the way that all women know when a man admires them. Now you have come to tell me you will be here, available to me, for as long as I might wish it. I am offering you what I thought you wanted." _

"_You cannot mean that."_

"_And you cannot have imagined I meant anything more," Will said. "There is no future for a Shadowhunter who dallies with warlocks. One might befriend them, employ them, but not…" _

"_Marry them?" Tessa said. There was a clear picture in her head of the sea. It had drawn back entirely from the shore, and she could see the small creatures it had left gasping in its wake, flapping and dying on the bare sand. _

Will watched her eyes grow cold, guarded. He knew something had changed, he could feel it in the way she tensed, pulled away from him against the floor. "Tess-" he began, breaking off as her hand whipped across his face. He froze, his breath catching as the blow echoed. Time stood still, and he realized. Slowly, he turned to look at her. "You've remembered."

She bit the inside of her bottom lip, staring up at him with eyes the shade of blades. He watched her face crumble, the first sob shake her frame. Bundling her to him, he stared at the carpet, expression dark as she attempted to hold in her tears.

She struggled against him, eventually wriggling free and rising unsteadily to her feet. He made no move to stop her, his arms hanging limply at his sides as he kneeled in front of the hearth. Crossing the room, she slammed the library door behind her as she made her way to wherever the left corridor took her. Anywhere was better than there.

And with that, she was no longer afraid of the shadows.

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><p><strong>... Sooo ... Whatcha' think? O3O (Feebly points to Review Button) Thank you my dear readers, you know how much I appreciate your feedback. Without it-I don't know how I would find the motivation to continue. <strong>


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: To begin with, I just want to clear up a bit of plot confusion. Many of you are either confused or wondering why Tessa has up and remembered two of the most "important" memories of Will so early in the story. I am here to straighten this out by saying that it is supposed to be this way. You misunderstood how this story was supposed to play out if you thought that it was **_**all **_**about Tessa remembering when it really isn't. This is the story of how it **_**affects **_**the people around her, and her development and decisions after she remembers. Anyways, I love your reviews and really appreciate them. So, here's chapter 5 of Bittersweet mistakes. Thanks for reading. =) P.S. This chapter will be a bit angst-y, just a forewarning if you aren't into that kind of thing.**

***Important* In case you guys haven't realized, I'm a N00B. Yes, a noob. So, since I have yet to figure out how to send PM's (private messages), I don't know how to individually thank you all for reviewing. In light of this, I widely acknowledge them herrreee, and say THANK YOU. =)**

**Disclaimer: You know the drill; I own nothing.**

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><p>It took her approximately five minutes of bumbling through the halls for Tessa to have realized that she was lost. Clenching her fists, she headed on. She would move until she dropped off the edge of the Earth, and only then.<p>

"_You've remembered." _Her thoughts whispered, taunting her. It was like a physical pain, a nail-biting ache that chilled her to the bone to remember the way his lips had shaped the words. If she wasn't sure, she could swear he had seemed almost regretful. It pained him to say it. Well, of course it had, she thought. Her flash of memory had been a put a solid end to their passionate, mindless fit.

She trudged her way through patches of moonlight, her face stiff and blank. Her eyes felt scratchy and emptied. The dried crusts of tears coated her eyelashes and made it difficult to see. She'd never felt more alone, more out of place. Briefly, she wondered what it would feel like to sink through the shadows and into the floor beneath her.

A warm draft of air guided her to a fork in the hallway and to the right, to what appeared to be an endless line of doors that looked identical to her own quarters. No windows broke the pattern, which would probably explain why it had immediately felt a bit homier as she began down its length. She hoped she was close; upset or not, she was tired. She kept to the side of the spacious corridor as she padded her way towards what appeared to be an open door at the opposite end.

As she reached the iridescent sliver of light, a pang of worry ran through her. Anyone at this hour wouldn't be expecting a watered out and splotchy Tessa. Hesitating, she wrung her hands nervously. Across the hall, a glint of marble captured her attention. The statue of the angel smiled at her, eerie from beneath the shadows.

'_I must be close to my room,' _she thought, her eyes tracing over the three doors across from her. All was silent as she contemplated, vaguely aware of the shuffles that could be heard from the room before her.

It began as shrill, hushed cry.

Tessa froze in her meanderings, her eyes resting on a shadow that had moved half-way into focus in the casting of light. It moved slightly, an altering in the tone sending a shudder to the soles of her feet. Suddenly unsteady, she splayed a hand on the wall for support. She recognized it, this noise, as the sound of a violin.

The pitch dove, weaving itself into the saddest, most pain filled melody Tessa had ever heard.

Her heart wrenched as she moved to cling to the doorframe, swinging the door open a bit farther on it's hinges. Her eyes lifted to see the silver haired man, Jem, perched on the windowsill furthest from her. He was faced away, profile glowing with an almost otherworldly sheen. He shifted, swaying slightly as he drug the bow over the multiple strings.

She sunk to the floor as it wailed, the pain audible in the folds of music. The sea of notes washed over her, wave by wave as it pulled her into its spell. It was as if her own personal hell had ripped a void into the universe, calling to her with a single note as the music drifted to a halt.

A memory brushed the edges of her mind, like a surreal déjà vu.

She could see Jem, in much the same position as he was now, standing by his bedside. She remembered his serene expression as he played, unaware of her as she peeked into his room for the very first time. She was captivated by this man, his appearance constructed of nickel and alabaster. She was new, and they had yet to meet.

Dragging in a breath, she looked up, straight into the eyes of that very man.

"Tessa? Tessa, what's wrong?" he questioned, obviously surprised to find her in his doorway. His violin long forgotten, he pushed away from the windowsill to kneel before her. Hesitating, he placed his hands on her shoulders. His cheeks were flushed, obvious against the pallor of his skin. She looked away, immediately ashamed of herself and how pitiful she must have looked. When she made no move to answer, he gently tilted her head up.

"Tessa…" he whispered sadly, taking notice of the pinkened flesh around her eyes. Her breath caught as his thumb swept over her cheek, his eyes softening. "Come, let's get you off the floor."

She numbly agreed, a knot of emotion tightening the back of her throat. He helped her up, leading her to one of the two arm chairs beside the unlit fireplace to the right of his room. She stared at the chair, her mind taking notice of the shirts draped casually over its back as she lowered herself into it. She could feel her insides churn as she fought to conceal her feelings, like a crack in a dam. Her breathing began to catch; tiny streams of water forcing themselves through, no matter how hard the dam pushed to keep it back. She pressed her lips together, staring at her hands as he bent to light the hearth, along with a few candles to brighten the room.

Her mind reeled, the shock of her "first" day at the institute flashing before her. From the original scare as she awoke, absolutely nothing about that day had felt real. She felt like an intruder in her own home, a stranger to the family she was expected to know. And yet, here she was.

Jem joined her shortly after fetching her a second wool blanket, this one a soft purple that smelled a bit like he did; not that Tessa had made note of that. She mumbled a thanks, draping it over her knees. He merely nodded, a worried look in his eyes as he took a seat before her on the second arm chair. A moment of uncomfortable silence passed as the two thought, his silvery gaze appraising her expectantly.

Tessa could feel as her face grew warm, cupping her cheek with a hand as she looked at her lap. Envisioning a brick, she swallowed against the breathtaking pain that had sealed the back of her throat. "U-uhm." She mumbled, unaware of the way she twisted her hands into the blanket before her. Her knuckles had since turned white, her lips rouged with color as her teeth worked over them.

He studied her intently, slowly moving to lean towards her.

"What's wrong, Tessa?" His voice was cool, soothing. His eyes never left her face, a slim hand placing itself over hers. Tessa swallowed, uncomfortable. Should she tell him what had happened?

"Tessa." Jem repeated, the use of her Christian name like a second punch to the gut.

She shook her head slightly, unsure of how to begin.

"M-Jem." Testing his name, she decided it was better to be as informal as he. It felt natural.

He paused, a slow smile breaking across his face. Squeezing her hand in encouragement, he waited for her to continue.

"I believe I've remembered," she began, training her eyes to a spot on the plush carpet. "Not everything, but enough."

"Enough?"

She nodded, "enough to force me to believe. There's no way I can deny that I have indeed lost my memory." Her voice drifted to a halt, her eyes raising to his.

The words left him slightly stunned, his lips parting as if to ask her why it was her tone had seemed to dark, as if the news wasn't something to revel in.

She inhaled deeply, breathing out the one thing Jem wished he hadn't heard. "_Will._" The single word that described everything and yet absolutely nothing.

Tessa's face bowed, her eyes glassy. He felt her hands clench from beneath his and twist themselves into the blanket. The pain of her unspoken stories was visibly tearing her apart, the sight enough to take his breath away. He had never seen Tessa, his strong, beautiful Tessa in such a state. It was as if she had been washed away, leaving a broken husk of the girl he had loved behind.

"What," he began, searching for words as he moved towards her. "what did he do to you?" The words were like a thick, heavy blanket. He felt his chest constrict, an unfathomable disappointment for his parabati sinking his heart. He had always loved William like a brother, even more so. He'd forgiven and put up with his antics since he had first shown up at the institute, even at the worst of times. '_But this,'_ he thought, raising a hand to sweep the tangled bits of hair from Tessa's face. '_is unimaginable.' _

Tessa raised her eyes a fraction, meeting his intent stare. He'd sobered quite a bit since she had last actually _looked_ at him, any trace of humor gone from his eyes. His hair was slightly disheveled; his clothes confirming her suspicions that he had been moments away from turning in for the night when she had shown up in his doorway.

She hesitated before placing a hand over his and trying her best to smile. It nearly broke as glimpse of sadness flashed over his face, the hand that had once moved the hair from her face now stroking her cheek. He shook his head, sighing. "Oh, Tessa."

In her hesitance, a figure had arrived in Jem's doorway. Silhouetted by the moonlight, the shock of William's blue eyes was like a stab to Tessa as she quickly averted her gaze. Her heartbeat was hectic and loud to her ears; she clenched her teeth, afraid that they would chatter with the rhythm of it. Wondering what had stolen her attention, Jem turned to look over his shoulder. His hands slipped away from Tessa, his eyes darkening with unknown emotion. Upon standing, he held out a hand to Tessa. "Tessa, I will escort you back to your room."

She paused, nodding as her eyes skittered across the hearth and back to Jem's face. He appeared to be tense, the dark shadows along his face pronounced. Seeing his expression and realizing what had altered his mood was enough to bring back the memories of only an hour or so before. She made to lift herself up, surprising both herself and Jem when she linked her fingers with his.

His eyes softened as he looked down at her red-rimmed eyes, gently squeezing her hand. Without another word, he turned towards the door, and Will. "Excuse me, William." He began, his tone flat. "I'll be bringing Miss Gray back to her room now. Make yourself comfortable."

William made no move to remove himself, his arms folded tightly across his chest. He stared down at Tessa, even as she made no attempt to return his gaze. Jem watched as he stiffened, his shoulders setting as an array of emotions played themselves across the velvety sapphire of his eyes. As he began to turn towards the door, Jem's free hand found Will's arm. "I said, make yourself comfortable."

William's eyes snapped to his, mild shock raising his eyebrows. "Yes, sir." He snapped, wrenching free of Jem's grasp. He stomped his way across the room, throwing himself into the chair Jem had previously occupied. Crossing his legs, he turned to watch Jem pull Tessa through the doorway. "Don't get lost." He sneered, his expression erased of emotion at Tessa's gaze locked with his for a fraction of a second. She couldn't see as Jem led her across the hallway, her vision wavering and blurred with unshed tears. He hastily threw open the middle of the three doors and waited until Tessa had followed him before gently closing it behind her.

An incomprehensible display of thoughts whirled through Tessa's mind as she stumbled to her bed and collapsed on it's edge. Burying her face in her hands, her shoulders shook with a silent sob. A hand on her back startled her slightly, watery eyes rising to Jem's as he seated himself next to her, worry evident on his pale face. She had nearly forgotten that he had been in the room with her.

"Tessa." He started, wrapping his arms around her as she cast her face downwards. She sunk into him, his company more than a comfort. In that moment, she felt herself grow closer to Jem. Even though she hadn't remembered him, he had been unexplainably kind and generous to her, listening and caring for her even as her tears soaked into the thin fabric of his shirt. She was thankful.

"It will be alright, Tessa, don't worry." He crooned, kissing the top of her head. She shook, nodding her head as the sobs racked her frame. Eventually, after an unknown amount of time had passed, Tessa stilled. Her breathing had evened significantly, and the pressure at the back of her throat was now nothing more than a dull ache.

Jem stared at the floor silently, his hand rubbing circles at her lower back as he hugged her to him. It was unthinkable that any memory had lowered Tessa to such a state. What had William done, he couldn't help but think. Though, no matter how much he wished for the answer, he knew now was not the time to ask.

Tessa shuffled, reeling him back from his thoughts.

"J-Jem." She whispered, her hands twisting themselves into the fabric of his shirt. "Thank you." She sniffled, making no move to leave the position with her pressed against his side.

He merely nodded, tilting her face towards his. Her eyes, now clear of tears gazed up at him. Her face was pink and warm in his hand, red splotches dusting under her eyes. Even as disheveled as she was, he couldn't help but admit to himself that she was beautiful. Tendrils of her hairs clung to his hand as he ran his fingers over her cheek, much like he had earlier. A small smile, real and alive greeted him, her nickel colored eyes glossy behind the curtain of shadows that haunted the unlit room. He could feel himself leaning closer to her, her scent pulling him in, the sweetness of it. Her lips parted in surprised, her eyes widening a fraction. He paused, an unspoken question in the inches between them as his eyes roamed her face.

The memory of her and William's kiss was like a kick. Not as much the kiss itself opposed to what it had brought with it. A second of time passed as she contemplated, a tinge of fear making her recline back a bit from him. What if this kiss was the same? But even if it was, would Jem have ever hurt her in the past? A shudder went through her at the thought, her will quickly pushing it away. Of course he wouldn't have. Or, would he?

In the midst of her hesitation, Jem had taken it as disapproval. He could feel himself flush, immediately putting some space between them. "T-" he began, an apology the first thing that came to mind.

Her hands, that had remained bunched in his shirt, tightened. "I'm sorry." She breathed, unable to control the shock on her face. She wanted to tell him that it wasn't because of him, that her encounter with William had spoiled the moment. A part of her struggled with the words, unable to speak while the rest of her attempted to keep her composure.

"No, Tessa." Jem answered, stunned. "I should be the one apologizing." He untangled her hands, holding them in his as he looked down at her. "I'm sorry." Emotion coated his tone, the sincerity of it shining through his eyes. Muted, she shook her head squeezing his hands.

He smiled sadly, running his fingers through her hair to toss it over her shoulders. "Goodnight, Tessa. " She closed her eyes as he leaned in, pressing his lips to her forehead. The sweetness of the moment was unbearable, the blackness of her eyelids a barrier against the reality of it. She remained like this, even as he rose from her side and moments later, slid out of the room and closed the door gently behind him.

Everything felt surreal as she fell backwards onto the covers, her legs still dangling off the edge of the bed. Her conscious faded until she just barely registered the cracking of her room door. She was asleep before she discovered who had tucked her into her bed.

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><p><strong>AN: This chapter didn't exactly turn out as I planned, but that's alright. =) I've decided that this story is going to be a long one-or so I hope. I ****need**** your reviews guys, so don't be shy! You're suggestions help me to continue-and are even more critical now that I'm having freakish writer's block. Hence the two week delay for me to write a 2,500 word chapter. =/ Anyways, thank you thank you thank you for reading! Please remember to review, and I will try my best to make something decent out of them! **

**Thank you my dear readers, I appreciate it more than you know.**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I got this idea today… Don't hate me-I know it's short. =/ I figured that it was a place that I'd like to end the chapter, so I did. Anyways, thank you so much for your reviews. =) Though there weren't many suggestions, I still GREATLY appreciate all of your compliments. It's my motivation. =) I hope you enjoy this-chapter 6 of Bittersweet Mistakes.**

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><p>The was a silence so heavy, so thick that not even Tessa could see through it. Something had startled her. Now dazed, she blinked and propped herself onto her elbow. It was obvious by the softness beneath her that she was in a bed.<p>

She reached up a hand, flexing her fingers before her unseeing eyes. Was she even awake? A resounding thud, followed by muffled voices had her cowering underneath her blanket.

Her breath steamed the small pocket of fabric, her racing heart as loud as pistol fire to her sleep-heavy ears. The noises from far away seemed to die down, leaving Tessa alone with the blackness as she waited. Her fingertips worked themselves to the hem of the heavy sheet, pulling it down until she could feel the coolness of the air settle on her brow. Swallowing heavily, she peeked an eye into the shadows. And to no avail. The dark, still as blinding as ever, had yet to change.

A moan, as clear as daylight, broke the quiet. Tessa stilled, ears straining to catch its direction. A pause, seconds ticking away as if days.

Barks of noise, horrendous and unfamiliar sounded from what seemed to be in another room. Tessa's mind whirled, any last trace of sleep erased. She was in her room at the London Institute. That much she knew. Jem had brought her here, and she had been upset. Everything after that was a blur, and as unrecognizable as what was currently tearing at her eardrums. She shuddered, a terrible feeling in the pit of her stomach. What could possibly be producing such a thing?

"_James."_ A voice grunted, tension audible in their tone. Tessa's breath caught at the back of her throat, immediately recognizing this person as Will. There was a crash, shortly followed by a shriek. She flinched, pressing her face as hard as she could muster into her pillow. The sheer torture of the noise was enough to make her whimper, the sudden urge to tear off her ears tempting.

A string of cursed ensued, panicky and breathless. Tessa frowned, confused. She had never heard Will sound so unsure, so afraid. Whatever had been the source of her terror had to be Jem. Surprised at her sudden revelation, she couldn't think of the explanation as to why she thought so. Tessa froze, her eyes going wide. It had to be Jem.

Kicking back her covers, she forced herself up. Fighting against the sudden rush of dizziness, she scooted to the foot of the bed. Subconsciously, she grabbed her night-robe from one of the posts. Slinging it on, she slid from the bed and hit the floor running for the direction she remembered the door having been. Her hands flailing in front of her, she nearly wept in relief when she brushed the far wall. Running her palms over the smooth panels, she shuffled her way to the right. When she felt herself meet the corner of two walls, she grunted angrily. Throwing herself to the left, she quickly retraced her steps, her fingers finally skimming over the raised wooden doorframe.

Tugging the door open, she slunk herself into the hallway before her. Quite unlike her room, the faintest hint of light that rudely greeted her was enough to make her eyes burn. She squinted painfully, stumbling forward towards the opposite wall. A single door out of the three stood ajar, an eerie stretch of pale blue light meeting the pale bareness of her feet on carpet.

Everything had gone oddly quiet, not even her ragged breaths reaching her ears as she stretched a shaking hand towards the brass knob. In the midst of her hesitation, a pressure, followed by the swinging of the now open door had Tessa stumbling backwards. Her mouth opened, a shriek of terror bubbling from her lips. The scream was short-lived as what felt to be a hand sealed itself across her mouth and steered her backwards. She heard the clicking of Jem's door as she was shoved into the wall next to it, her hands clawing feebly at the restraint.

"Tessa!" Will whispered, his voice rushed and angry. He glared at her as if she was insane, his grasp only loosening once the recognition of him flashed across her face. His hands slid to her shoulders, pinning her to the wall. At a loss for words, she stared at him. He looked like he'd seen a ghost, she thought to herself. His hair was disheveled, blue eyes ablaze as he appraised her. Even in the dark of the night, she noticed the dark circles beneath those very eyes. His shirt sleeves were hastily rolled above his elbows, the shock of black markings visible on the exposed flesh. And on those markings lay a light sheen of what at first appeared to be sweat, that glittered? On closer inspection, Tessa quickly discovered that not only did his skin glitter, but everything about him. It was as if he had been dusted in silver. He smelled of metal and salt; both of which were oddly appealing.

"What are you doing?" he spat, his own breathing uneven. "You should be sleeping."

Her mouth gaped, her face blank. She exhaled sharply, the words flowing out of her before she could stop herself. "What do you mean what am _I _doing?" she spat, furious though hushed. "I'm not the one who's slipping out of another person's bedroom at such an ungodly hour of the night. Not only that, but how could I sleep when you were-were making such odd, _nightmarish _noises doing lord knows what! And now you're angry with _me?_ You woke me up!" she added, inwardly wincing at how pitiful she must have sounded. "And what's going on with Jem, why was there screaming?"

At this, he froze. His eyes darkened, as if he was lost in thought. Releasing her shoulders, he hastily encircled her wrist and tugged her away from the wall. He towed her about midway back to her room before she swiveled, snatching herself away. He wouldn't answer her? Fine.

Flipping her hair from her face, she made her way back to Jem's door. Reaching for the knob, she nearly growled at the hand that gripped her forearm and swung her around. William, now standing as a human shield before her, stared at Tessa darkly.

"Don't, Jem needs his rest now."

"What are you saying?" she questioned, confused by his wording.

"He's had a busy day." He concluded, his tone making it clear he was done speaking of it. When he made no move to leave, Tessa crossed her arms. She would get into that room, no matter the cost. Jem's face flashed before her, and she was suddenly anxious, the need to make sure he was sound her number one priority.

Turning her face away, Tessa tried her best to look upset. A cold sweat had since broken out across her lower back, the thought of what she was about to do enough to turn her blood to fire. She took a slow step towards him, and then another until there was only a fraction of space between the two. Swallowing, her mind whirled. Would this actually work? Her gaze still averted, she wrapped her arms around his torso. He tensed, visibly confused. Tessa merely clung to him, dragging in a ragged breath. His arms moved to encircle her, a hand running from the crown of her head to her back. She shivered, pleased less with the fact that she had succeeded more than she would have liked. He squeezed her to him, the unspoken emotion of it enough to bring a pulling sensation to the back of her eyes. The memories of only hours before haunted her as she slid her gaze to his.

"Will." Her eyes roamed his features, making a show of landing on his lips before meeting his stare. Even in the darkness, his eyes smoldered as then connected with hers. Could she go through with it, even if it meant ripping at her own heart in the process?

Will didn't pull away as she slowly leaned towards him, her breath sweeping across his face. Her lips parted as her eyes fluttered shut, part of her mind screaming for her to pull him to her. To make it real, true. It was a split decision, and one that took every ounce of willpower for her to accomplish.

Giving herself a mental nudge, she brushed her bottom lip against his. His embrace loosened, giving her the tiniest gap of time that she needed. Against both his will and hers, she bodily shoved him to the side. Slipping underneath his arm, Tessa gripped the brass doorknob in sweaty hands and slid her way into the room, clicking the door shut behind her. Though stunned, Will had not fallen. Twisting to grasp the knob, he stared at it in shock when it refused to budge. Momentarily breathless, he struggled for words. "Tessa, Tessa?" he whispered, jiggling the knob a second time.

On the opposite side of the door, Tessa fumbled with the manual lock. As she heard it click into place, she stepped backwards warily. She knew, lock or not, that she had limited time. Whirling in place, she surveyed the room in front of her; and froze. Both of the chairs next to the hearth had been tipped, each shoved to the side up against the wall. The rug, now bunched and torn lay heaped at their legs. Deep, pale scratches gouged into the hardwood floor beneath it. Around it were dustings of the same silvery substance that had coated Will, but in a larger amount. Rusty stains overtook the powder in various blotches, an odd looking instrument thrown recklessly beside it. Her eyes grazed it, deciding that the closest cousin she could relate it too had to be some sort of injection tool. Next to it lay a metallic box, it's lid gaping open and capsized next to it. But this isn't what had caught her attention. Sprawled across the bedcovers, lay Jem.

He seemed as pale as the sheets he rested upon, still and breathless in the shadows. Tessa inched towards his bedside, her own breaths short and unsubstantial. She felt lightheaded, sick as she surveyed his body. Even the usually silver-sheen of his hair had been diluted, the only color left on him being the purple hue of the veins in his hands and violently black markings that could be seen through his shirt. She reached out hesitantly to run her palm over his arm, shivering with the deathly cold of it. Her eyes remained on his face, no signs of life visible. Holding her hand over his mouth, tears began to gather at her waterline when she did indeed feel a faint puff of air. He was alive.

Sinking to the floor beside him, she gathered his hand in his. What in the angel's name had happened to him? She quickly snatched various blankets and bedding from the floor beside her, making work of layering them over top him. After quickly pushing the chairs and debris aside, she lit the hearth and the few candles she could find. Returning to the door, she decided to tempt fate. As quietly as she could muster, she unlocked it. A pause followed where part of her imagined a furious Will barging in and heaving her out and into the darkness beyond. Yet, this never happened. Cracking the door, she peeked out into the hallway to discover it empty. Chancing a look back at Jem, she decided that it _was_ best for him to rest. She'd done all she could, and was mildly pleased to feel that he was being treated better than he had been. She would find out what had happened from the one and only witness.

Slipping out of the room, she eased the door shut behind her. Rubbing her hands down her nightgown, she shivered in the silence. After only a moment or two of waiting, she quickly crossed back to the middle door of the opposite wall. William would be back, that she was sure of.

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><p><strong>AN: Well, what did you think? Yeah, like I said before, it's short. But hey, that's alright! It's not like I don't plan to continue any time soon-this is my favorite past time at the moment. Hehe, next to the Sims 2. O_O Please review! I appreciate it, thank you. **


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Yup, here we go. =) This chapter was fun to write-but it was basically a stage-setter for the next chapter. I'm looking forward to your feedback, and greatly appreciate those of you that either read or replied to my last update! I'm sorry for such a delay, but here you go! Chapter seven of Bittersweet Mistakes-enjoy~**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Clockwork Angel series. Period.**

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><p><strong>Sophie<strong>

The girl knocked twice, resting a small hand on the doorknob. Inhaling, she tried her best to gather her composure and hide the anxious fear she was sure rested upon her face. She was still groggy and disoriented, having slept for the past day and a half. Smoothing her dress, she tried again.

"Miss Gray, are you awake?" Her voice, falsely cheerful, gave her chills. She had nothing to worry about now that Miss Gray had decided to trust Mrs. Branwell and the rest of the institute's Shadowhunters. No matter how stiff her neck was, no matter how pained, she could forgive the misunderstanding.

A mumbled 'yes' and the ruffle of fabric through the wooden door sent had her heart racing. Slowly twisting the handle, she peeked a beautifully scarred face through the crack.

Skipping pleasantries, she assessed the disoriented and stretching girl before her. "I was only to ask if you needed any assistance with dressing this morning, Miss Gray."

Tessa merely shook her head, a mildly stunned look on her face as her eye caught the ragged tear down the middle of the girl's face. Deciding to remain silent, she grinned. "No thank you, Miss Sophie."

The maid's lips parted, confused by the honorific. She swallowed, feigning a small smile. "It's just Sophie, Miss."

"Sophie, then." Tessa smiled, running a hand through the tangled nest of her hair. Pausing, her eyes met Sophie's. "You wouldn't happen to be the person I… the one who brought me tea, would you?" Her voice was hesitant, the hand stilled at her shoulder.

Sophie pinched her lips to keep from grimacing. "The very one."

Dropping her hand, Tessa lurched from her seat at the foot of the bed to stand before the girl. She made to clasp her hands, a saddened look on her face. "I'm so sorry. I hope you can forgive me for my behavior."

Stunned, Sophie touched Tessa's arm and shook her head. "It's perfectly fine. I couldn't feel any better after sleeping for an entire day."

Tessa bobbed her head, throwing her a sympathetic look before turning towards her wardrobe. "I'm glad."

Sophie grinned, nodding her head before slipping out of the room and immediately turning to poke back through the door. "By the way, Miss Gray, Breakfast is in one our in the dining room. I'd hope you'd join the others today."

Tessa breathed in slowly, contemplating. "Yes, I believe I will. Thank you, Sophie."

Without glancing behind her, she heard as the door clicked shut for the second time.

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><p><strong>Tessa<strong>

Her eyes raked over her selection as she propped open the doors of the wardrobe. In surprise she noticed that she had approximately eight different dresses, each more beautiful than the next. Hold her own slim, brown piece in the far corner. Tapping a finger to her lips, she decided on a simple, forest green number. It's deeper colored plume fluffed at the hem as she slipped herself into it. Marveling at the frontal straps, she was quickly able to fit herself into it. Twirling, she giggled as it skimmed airily along the ground. She drug her fingers through her hair, the unkempt curls draping themselves across her shoulders.

She decided to keep it down, just for today as she walked to the door in a seemingly new pair of velvety black heels. She felt, for god knows what reason, quite well.

However, this ignorant bliss was short lived. Visibly stunned, she stared into the eyes of William Herondale past the polished wood of the door.

"Don't you look cheerful this morning." He commented, face impassive as her eyes slid to the side. "It must be nice."

A pang of guilt had her grimacing to herself, a sly look at Jem's door not escaping the ready gaze of the man before her. "James is going to be fine." He said coldly, nearly shuffling into her line of view. Tessa glared upwards, pointedly between his eyes. "Why are you here, William?"

He smirked, a shadow tainting his demeanor. "Why, I live here. Don't you remember, Tessa-darling?"

She gaped, averting her gaze. Had he come here merely for the entertainment of mocking her? "Excuse me." Brushing past him, she started down the right hallway.

"If you don't mind," he began, tone flat, "I'll walk you to breakfast. I was heading there anyways."

Tessa slowed, upturning. "Fine."

William nearly laughed, a humorless smile breaking across his face. Stepping to catch up to her, they began to walk. "Now look, you've gone and lost your good mood."

"I don't see what you're talking about."

"Oh, I think you do."

Tessa swallowed, silenced. In her mind, she began to count her steps. Why did she suddenly feel the overwhelming need to run back to her room? _"Why do I feel so…guilty?" _ She felt as if she had walked miles by the time they had reached the dining hall. They had traveled in a stony quiet, Will's expression carefully blank as he took a seat across from Tessa once they had reached the dining room. _"I had every right to check on Jem, every right." _Grateful for Sophie, she smiled as the girl moved to serve the new arrivals. Her sudden disappearance left Tessa feeling self-conscious and shy, her stomach twisting away her appetite.

Moments later, Tessa could hear the clacking of heels from outside of the large double doors. Jessamine hastily entered, taking a seat beside a greatly relieved Tessa. Oblivious to the awkward atmosphere, she snapped her fingers and motioned for a flustered looking Sophie to fill her cup with juice. "That dress suits you, Tessa." She commented, her eyes scanning over the blank seat before her.

Tessa, confused, smiled. "Thank you, Jessamine. I still think it's quite unnecessary."

The girl merely shook her head and spooned eggs onto her plate. "Don't be silly, you have to look presentable when we go shopping."

The room sunk into a lull, the creaking of Will's tilted chair eerily disturbing as he sipped at a cup of what Tessa believed was coffee. She poked at her food with her fork, pointedly keeping her eyes downcast. Her thoughts soon drifted to the empty seat next to William. Charlotte and Henry were usually up quite a bit earlier than the rest, hence, it wasn't unusual for them to miss breakfast. But, Jem?

Tessa contemplated checking up on him, setting her fork aside to lift a glass to her lips. Lost in her day dreams, her eyes slid upwards. From across the table, William appraised her from behind the rim of his own cup. His eyes were surprisingly soft, his free arm crossed around his torso as he rocked back in his chair. Though it wasn't meant for such movement, Tessa wondered why it seemed as if it wouldn't tip backwards; just because Will was Will.

Her gaze quickly slipped away, warmth creeping its way up her throat alerting her to the fact that she was probably blushing. She set her glass aside and gathered herself.

"Excuse me." She murmured, nodding her head before exiting the room. She could feel Will's eyes on her as she slid through the doors, letting her hands rest on the smooth surface for a moment after clicking them shut.

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><p><strong>Back in the Dining Hall<strong>

Jessamine cleared her throat, dabbing at her lips with a napkin before raising her eyes to appraise the man diagonal of her. Waiting for his eyes to meet hers, she smirked at the barely concealed sadness in his eyes. "Oh, William, you make me laugh with you're pitiful excuse for courting a woman. You know, you're supposed to make her favor you in the process?"

The sadness quickly flashed to a mild irritation. "Hush, Jessamine. It's too early for me to be hearing you're voice. With my luck, you've already shaved a day off my life." His gaze narrowed into a spot on the wall in front of him, a gulp of coffee searing his throat.

Jessamine glared and shook her head, pushing away her plate and standing up. He could be such a pain in the morning. All hints of humor gone, she spat out the words she knew would scar him the worst. "_With your luck_, she's already in love with you." Sweeping away from the table, she didn't catch the shock spasm across his face.

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><p><strong>Tessa<strong>

Her footsteps echoed around her as she made her way back to her room, the now pre-noon sun illuminating the east wing of the institute. She hadn't realized she was being followed until a light tap on the shoulder had her spinning around. Surprised, she blinked down at a sharp-eyed Charlotte. The small woman smiled, greeting Tessa. "When you have a chance, dear, I'd like to speak with you in my office."

"Of course, Charlotte." Tessa hurriedly agreed, nodding her head. She followed after her at a brisk pace, nearly trotting to keep up at times. After twisting a few corners and walking down a couple staircases, they arrived at an elaborately carved doorway. Charlotte held open to door as Tessa entered the spacious study, taking a seat in the same chair she had last sat in after Charlotte's prompting. The woman offered her a drink, the twist at the back of her head bobbing as she sat herself down behind the large mahogany desk.

"No, thank you." Tessa smiled, the curiosity in her voice hardly concealed behind her politely patient attitude.

Charlotte nodded, folding her hand atop the piece's slick surface. "Tessa, I have called you here to inform you of both some good and bad news." Her face, though warm and motherly was set, as if she were trying to subconsciously brace Tessa.

"Y-yes?" Tessa stammered, slightly taken aback. What could she possibly be referring to?

"Well, the good news is that Magnus Bane has diagnosed that you should be regaining your memory in, at most, approximately half a month. If you're persistent enough and try to stretch your mind, your memory will have no trouble returning to you. Of course, this means that Magnus will have to make regular check-ups, which should be no problem." She paused, her eyes sliding slightly to the side. The movement looked strained, as if she was having trouble looking Tessa in the eyes.

"That's great." Tessa breathed, smiling. "I'm happy to hear it." She swallowed, wringing her hands in her lap. So, what was the bad news?

Charlotte nodded, maintaining an airy demeanor. "You're also here so that I could inform you of the Clave's decision to visit us tonight." She folded her fingers together and continued, eyeing Tessa. "After hearing of your injury and current condition, they feel the need to…to_ verify_ that you still managed to keep your abilities. They wish to make sure that nothing, other than your temporary memory loss, was damaged or lost in the accident." Her gaze dropped to her hands, her lips pursed in a pained line as Tessa absorbed what she had just been told.

"They want to verify that I managed to keep my abilities." Tessa repeated slowly, her lips parting in realization. "They want to…_test_ me?" She drug in a breath, swallowing against it's sudden dryness.

Charlotte said nothing, a deep, shadowy guilt washing over her face. "I'm sorry, Tessa. I told them how unnecessary it was, but they refused to hear it. Either you submit and transform, or they'll be forced to discharge you from our care."

Tessa 's eyes shot up to the woman's before her, momentarily taken aback.

"They'll be here at six o'clock. I suggest getting a little sleep, you look tired, Tessa. I'll send one of the boys for you when the time comes."

The girl nodded, rising from her chair. "Thank you Charlotte. I think I will try to get some rest." She absent-mindedly ran a hand down her side, the scratchiness of the bandage beneath subtle from beneath the fabric of her dress.

Blinking up at her, Charlotte nodded and rose. Her face, genuinely warm, was only a small comfort to a now shockingly tired Tessa. "I'll show you back to your room, dear."

Tessa nodded and followed the woman from her room, regretting the fact that every time she seemed to bump into Charlotte, it was to be told something unwelcome. _"I'll change that." _She thought as she treaded after her. She hoped to be friends with the woman she had begun to think of as, if not a mother, as close to her Auntie as anyone had ever been.

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><p><strong>AN: So, what did you think? I hope you all like where this story is going to be heading. After this next chapter, the stories going to be hurtling towards a close-be ready for it. ;) Once again, thank you all for reviewing-I love it. =) **


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: I know this is odd for me to be leaving such a short author's note, but I'm in a rush. Please enjoy, and remember to tell me what you think! PLEASE, please excuse any spelling mistakes-for god knows what reason-I CANNOT find the spellcheck button. Don't hate me, and try to look past it. .**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

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><p><strong>Jem<strong>

His eyes roamed over the library's main seating area, a mild surprise quirking his lips at the absence of a Miss Tessa Gray. Mentally shrugging to himself, the man turned from the room and quietly secured the large double doors behind him.

_"I need you to go and find Tessa." _Charlotte had instructed him, a grim look upon her heart-shaped face. He remembered nodding, confused. _"I need you to bring her here," _she continued, "_because the Clave wishes to see her tonight."_

He felt his heart stop, his already pale face blanching. _"What for?"_

The woman smoothed her hair, appraising him as if she were deciding something. _"The Clave has finally found a way to witness Tessa's ability."_ Pausing, she shook her head and filled him in with the rest of the details. _"They'll be here in half an hour." _

_"So what you're telling me," _he had said, clenching the top of his cane in his palm, "_is that they're using her accident as an excuse to force her to change."_

A silence filled the room, seeping into his bones. Charlotte's lips thinned as she averted her gaze from his. _"Yes." _

His shoulders tensed, his jaw setting. _"She's injured."_

_"I realize this."_

_"Then why is this happening." _

Charlotte's lips parted as if she were going to explain, just to close for the second time.

Jem twisted away from the woman, exiting the room and leaving the corridor before he said something that he knew he would regret. He knew why, it was because she couldn't have possibly said no to them. The Clave said who, and who didn't do what. Charlotte's dissapproval of their wishes could just as easily have gotten the lot of them seperated and send to different branches-just so the Lightwood family would be put in charge of the London Institute. It was sensible, Charlotte's decision, but selfish. Not a soul, give or take Jessamine, would put themselves before another. _"And I thought Charlotte was the same." _

Immediately regretting his thoughts, he sighed. Charlotte was anything but selfish. She had sacrificed everything for him and the rest of the institute. Shaking away his emotions, he continued on towards Tessa's usual haunts. He would find Tessa, and he would do the only thing he could. He would reassure her.

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><p><strong>Tessa<strong>

Tessa tweaked at stray bits of hair, molding random curls and pinching her cheeks a soft pink. Her reflection stared back at her from the glossy marble hip of the stone angel. Now that she had given herself a bit of color, the hollowness of her eyes wasn't as blantly obvious. She blinked a few times, exagerating the movement. She nearly laughed, the brief flash of humor vanishing just as quickly as it had come. Looking away, Tessa stared down at her bared toes. Her shoes lay in a heap a foot away, the plush carpet beneath her a minute comfort as she waited.

A blurb of movement in her peripherals had her smiling from down the hall at a silvery haired figure. _"Just who I was looking for." _

"Tessa." Jem greeted, raising an eyebrow at her. He flashed a smile, briefly contemplating before taking a seat before her. "You look well."

"I should be saying the same to you, Jem." she answered sincerely, noting the slight flush on his cheeks. The way his eyes, now a smokey, rich color, sparkled as he spoke her name.

He shrugged, crossing his legs. "I've seen brighter days."

Tessa grinned, her eyes rising to the sky outside the high glass window on the opposite wall. The horizon beyond was hazed, a foggy gray patching out the sun; it was probably going to rain later in the day.

A comfortable quiet had her feeling relaxed enough to doze off, the floor beneath her firm enough to properly support her huddled form. Jem's eyes slid over her face, a silent message hidden in their depths. She quickly cleared her throat, straightening her skirt around her legs and tucking in her feet. "So, I assume you are here to show me to where Charlotte plans on meeting the Clave." Swallowing, she met his stunned gaze.

"Yes," he began, shuffling a bit. "..." he broke off, the sentence hanging unspoken in the air between them.

She nodded bruskly, pasting on a smile. "Alright then, we'll be expected to arrive before the Clave does I suppose?" Her heart began to race, the mere thought of it a sudden shock. She surpressed a shudder as he nodded.

"Charlotte would be dissapointed if we were late... Tessa?" he paused, looking up at her as she stood in place.

"Hmm?"

"It'll be alright."

She froze, staring down at him. He smiled sadly, elegantly lifting himself from the ground. Her head bobbed mechanically in agreement, her eyes drifting to the side. "Yes." Her mind whirled, a mental wall forcing her thoughts away from what she was about to do. It did her no good to worry about it now. What had to be done, had to be done.

Jem's eyes remained on her face before he offered her his arm, giving her hand an encouraging squeeze as he led her back the way he had come. Much to her surprise, the hallway that they had eventually ended up was not much different from her own. Woven tapestries and rugs adorned the walls and flooring, numerous symbals embelishing the wooden doors on either side of the corridor. _"Charlotte..."_ Tessa thought as her eyes raked the intricate designs, landing on a shockingly large set of doors at the very end of the stretch. "Jem, is this-?" she whispered, tilting her head slightly.

His lips grinned humorlessly, "It is, Tessa."

She didn't respond, caught in the swirl of her emotions as they slowed to a stop before the entrance. She subconsciously hugged his arm closer to her, her eyes wide and unseeing as she stared at the arm-length brass handles. They stood like this for a moment before he turned to look down at her, his eyes sympathetic and unwavering. "Tessa..."

"Are you coming in, too?" she asked, her mouth dry. His silence answered her better than any words could, her bottom lip quivering slightly as she inhaled. She felt as if she was saying goodbye to him forever.

He rubbed a soothing hand over her hand. "I'm underage, when it comes to the Clave's standards. According to them, I have no right to be apart of any meeting of theirs." She understood, her head sinking a bit in a dull nod. Forcing back the sickening sense of dread in the pit of her stomach, she raised her eyes to meet his.

"Thank you, Jem." Patting his arm, she moved away from him. Straightening herself, she closed the space between her and the doors before her. Gripping the handle, she forced her mind to clear as she pushed her way out of the comfort, and into the spotlight.

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><p><strong>Tessa<strong>

**Part 2 **

The wave of silence that doused the room would have been commical in any other situation. At least thirty sets of eyes narrowed in to her face as she entered the room, closing the doors behind her. They all seemed to be seated at an obscenely large table, each of them oddly similar due to the inky black gear they sported. Unknowing of what to do, she pasted a small smile onto her face and bowed her head. "I am Tessa Gray." Her voice sounded weak, but oddly audible. It echoed off the cathedral-like walls and ceiling, giving it a hollow tone.

"Tessa!" a familar voice chirped from the far side of the group. "Please, take a seat next to me, dear." Charlotte smiled at her, her eyes wide with emotion. She seemed antsy and uncomfortable, Henry's tensed form seated to her right. She motioned to an empty chair to her left, even though the two of them sat together at the end of the table.

Tessa, nodded, her eyes boring into the floor as she hurried her way to set herself in the assigned seat. She could feel the stares of many as she reddened, momentarily glad that she had allowed her hair down that day.

"Well, Charlotte?" A voice spoke up from a ways down the table length, a woman a bit taller than Tessa raising her head.

Charlotte merely looked at Tessa, patting her knee from underneath the table. Her voice lowered, eyes pained as she explained the procedure to her. "All you must do is change into Mrs. Brimstone. Both I, Henry and she will escort you to the platform behind me-" he voice trailed away as Tessa unfocused. She had to transform...on a stage? Charlotte rose from her chair, her voice humming throughout the room. Tessa merely did as she was instructed, the utter humiliation of what she was about to do a shock. They were acting as if she were a show, a _creature_. Lulls of agreement filtered through the room as she lifted herself from her chair as instructed and followed the three to a slightly raised bit of flooring in the back-center of the room.

Charlotte continued to explain what was happening to those still seated, her voice cracking slightly as Tessa raised her eyes to meet hers. The woman quickly averted her gaze, a slight wavering in her tone faltering her composure.

On her opposite side, Henry gathered a small object in his hands from what Tessa believed to be the 'Mrs. Brimstone.' She slowly appraised the woman, looking the woman directly into the eyes as Henry handed her the silvery locket. The woman merely stared back at Tessa emotionlessly, crossing her arms over her chest.

Lowering her eyes, Tessa twisted the trinket in her hands. It seemed quite precious, tiny glittering stones embedded in the texturized silver panels. A thin chain slipped through her fingers as she ran her thumb over the locket, swallowing. She felt drained, numb.

Everything around the small bubble had gone silent, expecting as Tessa closed her free hand over the other and held it to her chest. Without raising her face, she closed her eyes. Her breathing evened out, her mind sinking deeper and deeper into the required pre-meditation of the process. She visualized the knots in her shoulders gradually releasing, earning her a satisfying flush of relief as she began to grope for the small flicker of the soul she would temporarily become.

Gradually, she began to feel the pull of her powers. Her head cleared, the silence of the others key to her concentration. It was easy now, this transition; nearly effortless as the wave of sensation warmed her skin. She shocked gasps from around her alerted her to the completion of her goal as she opened her eyes. Unclenching her fists, she stared down at the milky white fingers of Mrs. Brimstone. The locket slipped to her lap, her usual barrier of dusty brown curls replaced with cropped, deep mahogany tresses.

"My god." a man exclaimed from across the room, fellow murmers of agreement passing from person to person.

"Unbelievable." the real Mrs. Brimstone whispered, moving to stand before Tessa with a look of disgust on her face. "Utterly unbelievable."

"Sarah." Charlotte hissed, taken aback.

The woman merely shook her head dissmissively, reaching out to grasp Tessa's forearm in a vise-grip. Tessa yelped, pressing back in the straigh-backed wooden chair in surprise that quickly turned to fear. Reaching into her back pocket, Sarah pulled out a slim, crytal-looking length of stone.

Henry, whom had been standing idly behind the two woman, sprang foreward. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Mrs. Brimstone glared unwaveringly at Tessa, rolling the beam of crystal between her fingers. "She's dangerous, this one. And yet, flawed when it comes to impersonations. All she's missing, are the iratzes." The woman's shadow-black eyes traveled hungrily across Tessa's untainted skin, making her skin crawl with the need to flee the room; she had no idea how she managed to keep her glamour in that moment.

A hush fell over the crowd of people before them, their interest immediately captured.

"What's to stop her from becoming any of us? Sure, now we can tell her apart without her markings. But what's to say that in the state of a Shadowhunter, she can't acquire her own?"

Questioning murmers misted around them, Charlotte's terrified expression quickly reaching her voice. "Sarah, that's absurd!"

"Let the woman talk!" a voice boomed from the table, a towering man pushing back his seat to stand above the others. "What's to stop the downworlder? We must test every possibility."

"Test-test every possibility?" Charlotte rounded, her eyes as sharp as knives. "You know just as well as I do what happens to anyone, other than a Shadowhunter, when exposed to iratzes! Such treatment could lead to things, things worse than death." she trailed off, her eyes scanning the faces.

The man who had spoken before shook his head and reseated himself, crossing his arms. "But the downworlder has been told to create perfect impersonation, momentarily _becoming _the person. If this is like such times, than she is at least physically, Sarah. Angel blood included."

Tessa, having been previously silent, writhed under the intense scrutiny of the woman before her. She shied away from the tool that was now being held an inch above the exposed skin of her wrist, an untangible heat nearly scortching her skin in the space between. She could hear the angry shouts of both Charlotte and Henry against the onslaught of retorts as Sarah's eyes narrowed in on hers.

_'This is too much.'_ Tessa thought, an unbearable wave of exhaustion sparking her transformation back into herself.

Mrs. Brimstone froze, her eyes catching the ripple that seemed to hover over Tessa's skin. Between the crys of the two parties and the mere intensity of the room, no one noticed as the woman cried out. An unspeakably horrific look came across her face as the beginning warmth began to spread throughout Tessa's insides.

She felt the release of her breath, the way her lungs expanded in _her _chest and the tickle of her own hair sweep it's way down her neck. And then, the tip of the steele as it dug itself into her flesh.

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><p><strong>AN: DUN DUN DOONNEE. =) (hehe, wordplay is fun)**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Okay, first off, thank you. =) I had no idea the response I would get after writing something like **_**that**_** for chapter 8-and I have to say, I'm pleasantly surprised. Second, Blue-about the Magnus Bane scene, it was between the time Tessa was sleeping off her injury the first night. Now that I think about it, I never really specified when he had come, or made anything of it-so for this, I'm sorry. =) Anyways, I hope you guys like how I start to bring this to a close~ Enjoy~**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Infernal Devices Series.**

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><p><strong>Will<strong>

William Herondale took the stairs two at a time, nearly throwing himself down them as he sprinted onwards. All he could think was, _'Oh god, Tessa, _no._' _as he rounded corners and pressed faster to the Institute's gathering hall. He didn't think he had ever run so fast, not from anything, and definitely _for_ anything.

Around an hour before, Jem had informed him of the Clave's gathering, and their reasoning. And of course, William had done the first thing he could think to do: spied on them from above.

"_Do you know what this means?"_ James had asked, his eyes dark and unseeing as he gathered himself to leave the room.

William had since sat his book aside, his eyes trained on a spot on the wall as he leaned back in his chair. _"I do."_

But he hadn't, he _hadn't_ known it would go that far. The Clave was twisted, it had it's faults, but he hadn't yet realized it's sheer stupidity.

A blind rage led him foreword as he sprinted down the corridor, catching his quite solemn looking parabati by surprise. "Will?"

"It's Tessa." He breathed, already half to the door that Jem had been perched beside.

The silver haired man frowned, joining Will as the doors, having been sealed with an iratze, flew open.

"What do you mean-" he began, breaking short as the scene before him unfolded. The sound hit him before anything else, shrieks and the sound of furniture scraping against the floor assaulting the two's ears. Bodies stood and darted to and fro, the majority of them gathered in the far end of the room. Even from their position at the opposite end, they could see the expression on Charlotte's face as she realized their presence, and then what was happening from behind her. She disappeared into the mass of people, out of sight.

William wasted no time as he bounded across the room, hastily followed by a heavily confused Jem. And just as the group parted, he lost it.

* * *

><p><strong>Tessa<strong>

It began as a small pressure at her wrist. She watched in horror as the woman scrawled some unintelligible symbol, simple and small, on her skin. Tessa's eyes slid away from it, and into Sarah's. She merely smiled, sick and sadistically. "I thought I'd aid in your memory."

Tessa swallowed, staring down at the etching. Her eyes went wide and flickered up again. "Wh-what?" And then it hit her.

Tessa lurched forward, her hand tearing from the woman's grasp as she clutched it to her chest. The pressure of the steele had remained, even after it had left her skin, and _intensified_. It had evolved from a mere ache to a bone-grinding, unimaginable squeezing. It felt as if the very tendons in her wrist had snapped, the muscle and flesh beneath spasming a ghostly white. She let out a gurgle, straining to somehow relieve herself as the crowd roared around her. Her hand clenched and opened against her will, pain-filled tears gathering in her eyes. The odd lighting of the room began to distort her vision, disturbing shadow pictures reaching their ways toward her from the floor at people's feet. Whimpering, she twisted in her seat and rapidly searched for a familiar face.

Charlotte and Henry were not ten feet away, each engaged in their own battles as Tessa struggled to get their attention. A second shock of pain had her doubled over, her teeth leaving a bloody imprint across her lower lip. The sensation had begun to spread across the left side of her body, tearing at her elbow and upper arm with merciless claws. She sobbed, her free hand doing more damage than good as it fruitlessly rubbed at her muscles, leaving the flesh red and inflamed. Flickering dots of color spotted the wooden beams of the chair, an odd, checkerboard pattern of scarlet and silver fizzing over her skirt as her eyes strained, the whites of her eyes stained pink.

And finally, Charlotte's eye met hers. The woman blanched, reaching out a hand to cling to Henry's shirt sleeve. Both him and her stared at Tessa for only a moment before darting to meet her, their arguments long forgotten. "My god, Tessa." Charlotte crooned, pushing the girl's hair from her face. "It'll be alright, don't worry Tessa, it'll be fine." She quickly turned to shout something at Henry, who spun to disappear into the crowd of people as Charlotte's eyes roamed her face. "What in God's name has happened?"

"A-aah." Tessa groaned, her words breaking off as the pain shook her frame. Charlotte stared down at the mark, her breath catching in the back of her throat.

Tessa's eyes clenched shut, her blood-stained teeth gritting together as her shoulder was consumed, just as quickly as her chest and neck. Writhing, her eyes cracked to reveal nothing more than a mass of watered-out shapes. The voices all mixed to one, nothing even remotely distinguishable as the pressure took hold of her.

All forms of comprehensible thought had been discarded, leaving Tessa bare, nothing past the _feeling _of having herself crushed to nothing. Even her hearing had begun to fade, snippets of shouted commands reaching her through the haze. And then she was airborne, her shaken form cradled in the arms of an unknown person. She inhaled sharply, her back arching as a shot of pain shot from base of her neck, downwards. The shock to her heart was enough to tear a scream from her ravaged lips, ending in small whimper. She could feel it, she was going to die.

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><p><strong>Will<strong>

Using his elbows, Will shoved his way back through the mass of people. "Jem, Jem!" Scanning the faces nearest to him, he cursed when he realized the impossibility of the situation. The bundle in his arms moved, nearly twisting free as he stumbled his way back to the doors.

Tessa moaned, a ghostly white hand clenching the front of his shirt. She barked a cough into the other, her unseeing eyes lolling behind closed lids as she squirmed. William, momentarily stunned, froze. Her hand had come away splattered with moisture, a scene familiar and unwelcome to the Shadowhunter.

Picking up his pace, he'd nudged his way to the exit it record time. He almost burst with relief as his eyes locked with his parabati, the man's eyes sinking until they rested on Tessa. Jem gaped, wedging himself through the exiting throng of people.

"What happened?" he breathed, pale. Immediately springing into action, he gripped Will's shoulder and steered him forward as he explained.

"That _bitch_, Sarah Brimstone." He spat, his gaze falling to Tessa once again. He swallowed, a knot of horror taking his breath away.

The girl's skin looked tight, as if it were constricting the very person within it. Tiny droplets of pink moisture dotted her forehead and neck, the rest of her body concealed in the fabric of her dress. She wasn't nearly moving as much as she had been, her body curled into itself as her chest heaved with ragged breaths. With her hands still knotted into the front of his shirt, she nearly looked as if she were sobbing.

James merely shook his head at the name, unfamiliar. "What about her?"

Will broke into a run as they were finally able to separate from the crowd of people, their rapid footsteps muffled in the carpeting of the hall. His fingers clenched in the loose fold of Tessa's gown, a wave of fury whisking away any trace of fatigue.

"Her wrist, look."

Jem nearly retched, looking away. He shook his head, an unknown expression passing over his features. "She's been marked."

Will nodded, his jaw set as they arrived at the Institute Infirmary. They were greeted by Henry, whom looked just as terrified as Will felt. Motioning for the boys to lay her down, Henry stooped to hike up her shirt sleeve, better exposing the iratze. "Magnus is on the way, he'll be out front in fifteen minutes. One of you, go meet him."

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><p><strong>Will<strong>

**Part 2**

He stared at her from his bedside-seat, navy blue eyes trained on her face as she suffered. He felt helpless and angry at himself as the seconds ticked by, every minute that passed Tessa's condition significantly worsening. Jem had since left to meet Magnus, along with Henry who claimed that Charlotte had to be collected. This left him alone; alone with his thoughts, and alone with a dying Tessa.

'_Tessa.' _He thought, resting his hand over hers. "Tessa." The word, heavy with sorrow came out as nothing more than a breath. His other hand ran through his untidy hair, the cause of her pain the first thing to come to mind. _'I'll kill that woman myself, I swear of it.'_

Tessa mumbled something unintelligible, her breathing sharp and uneven. William paused in his thoughts, his eyes searching her face. Her head tipped to one side, and then the other, facing him as her eyes cracked open. With irises the color of ash, she began to thrash away from him. He heard her speak again, the words shrill an unfamiliar as she toppled off the opposite edge of the bed. Her arms made no move to catch her as she hit the ground, rolling to her knees, seemingly unharmed by the impact.

Will shot from his seat, stunned. "Tessa, what-?" Rounding the foot of the bed, he made to help her up. Slapping his hand away, the girl pushed herself backwards until she was against the way. A string of syllables uttered from her lips, her face breaking into a sob as he neared her.

His heart shattered when he realized that she was _afraid _of him, obviously delusional as she shook her head and pressed it to her knees. Her arms had wrapped themselves around her torso, a spasm of pain catching a weep half-way. William, dumbstruck, knelt before her. He could hear her small voice, the language that she spoke to herself unfamiliar to his ears.

"Tessa, it's me." He tried, the tips of is fingers brushing the back of her hand. Her breath caught, and a sound, similar to a whine muffled by the fabric of her dress, answered him.

He withdrew his hand as a cough racked her frame. The booming of the infirmary doors had him rising from his position on the floor. Magnus Bane, closely followed by Jem, Charlotte and Henry, did little to greet Will as his eyes spotted the top of Tessa's head. He looked as if he were going to ask what she was doing on the floor, but seemed to decide against it.

Unspeaking, Charlotte came to tug William backwards, rejoining him with the group of onlookers standing at the foot of the bed. Magnus had since taken Will's place before the girl, unhesitant as he flipped her hand over, exposing her wrist. Out of his pocket, he protruded a small, bandage-like piece of fabric. Wasting no time, he hastily applied it her skin, rubbing it onto her flesh like tape. Tessa made no move to fight the sudden application, her arm drooping to the floor carelessly.

"It'll be a painful process, but with any luck, she's in too much pain now to notice." Magnus's words had shocked to group, each person's face a mixture of fear and uncertainty. He merely shrugged, swallowing as he appraised the girl again. "Just trying to lighten the mood."

Jem, never one to be brusque, frowned. "Is she going to survive?"

Magnus turned to look at the man, connecting eyes with all but one. "We'll have to wait and see." His voice held no trace of comfort, the words as tense and unwelcome as their current situation.

William nearly growled, his pent up anger getting the best of him. "What the hell do you mean we'll _wait and see?_" he hissed, prepared to stab the warlock if he had to.

Magnus still refused to meet eyes with Will as he stooped to scoop the girl off the floor and place her back on the bed. The was a pause as every eye in the room scanned her face. It had changed significantly, now a sickly gray compared to the once healthy pink. Her eyes, though closed, look drawn as she breathed in and out deeply. On any other day, William would have said that she looked as if she were taking a nap.

"This is a treatment for Shadowhunters who have come into contact with _unfriendly_ steeles. It doesn't happen often, keep in mind. This patch works as a sort of tape to effectively absorb the powers of an iratze." He stilled, his eyes drifting back to those of the man's he'd least wanted to release such information to.

To William, the words sounded harmless. But in the way they were delivered, he found no solace. "Then why do we have to wait and see if she improves?" he repeated, the last part coming out harsher than he had originally planned. Jem second his question, his tone haunted. "Magnus?"

The warlock scowled at the group, sighing. "This is a treatment used for _Shadowhunters_. Think, when was the last time you've heard the survival rate for _any_ Downworlder afflicted with a marking? It's illegal to Clave laws for a reason. There is nothing in the history books about a cure, or any sort of treatment because none survived long enough to begin with. This is all I can tell you. Please, find peace in the fact that now, we have _something_ to work with." He voice flat, he scanned the faces before him. Bowing his head, he rounded them and crossed to the door. "I'll be back in the morning." He called over his shoulder, pausing on the threshold to meet the pleading eyes of Charlotte and Henry. "The best of luck to Miss Gray, keep an eye on her." And with that, he disappeared.

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><p><strong>AN: Okay, so that's where I feel I should leave off for this chapter. Point blank, this chap. was fun to write. But after all the poos and giggles, it really didn't do anything for me. =/ Anyways, if I still feel this pull to write today-be looking for the next chapter later this evening. And by later, I mean around 11 o'clock central time. I This story is coming to a close with the upcoming chapter(s?). Please review, and I'll love you. ^_^ That rhymed…O.O**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Here we are, all. Chapter 10 of Bittersweet Mistakes-about two weeks later than I expected. :D So, I have been juggling this chapter and a **_**second**_**, yes, second Infernal Devices fic. (Which will be WillXTessa based too, sorry Jem fans. /3) Thus, the delay. Anyways, thank you so much for the reviews, I appreciate it. ^^**

**Will**

He hadn't slept a wink that night, everything about him so concentrated on Tessa that he had only enough self interest left to blink and breath when absolutely necessary.

Charlotte and Henry would come and go, each leaving words of wisdom and a sympathetic looks in his direction. Jem visited twice throughout the night before disappearing completely, his own state enough to sink him in a pool of physical suffering. Jessamine had left the initial time, and had yet to return while Sophie, at first, had been nothing but a bother. She'd finally left on a wave of William's frustration, shooting daggers into the floorboards in front of her as she stalked out for the evening.

"Good riddance." He grunted as the girl none-to-quietly slammed the infirmary door. Leaning back in his chair, his eyes wandered around the room for the first time that night.

Only a few of the various wall-hanging chandeliers had been lit, pools of candlelight illuminating the countless beds and wash bins scattered throughout the room. Tessa had long since slipped from her nightmares, dousing the room in a fitful silence. _'Tessa.'_ He thought, his eyes returning to her curled form. For the hours he had been present, Tessa's condition had significantly improved. However, at first, it had taken a dive for the worse. It had gotten so bad, that they had nearly needed to strap her to the bed. The very bed that was now stained with her blood, forever tainted with the awful memories of what had happened that night.

The patch that Magnus had previously applied was now stained a horrid black, tiny strings of red liquid slipping under it's edges and dotting the cuff of Tessa's dress. Even under the cuts and bruises, she was beautiful. A healthy plumpness had returned to her skin, her breaths unhindered and deep as she slept.

He felt an overwhelming sense of peace as it dawned on him that Tessa, _his_ Tessa would be alright. And he was grateful.

**Jem**

He rubbed at his face, the dead sleep from the night before fogging his vision as he strode down the hallway outside him and Tessa's room. As soon as he had opened his eyes that morning, the events of the night before barraged his mind. Immediately feeling guilty, he'd thrown himself out of bed and out the door in less than five minutes. He had to _see_ Tessa to make sure that she was alright.

'_She's with Will.'_ He thought, the slight comfort enough to stop him from breaking into a run. _'He would have come to you if anything happened, wouldn't he?'_ After contemplating on his walk, he arrived at the infirmary. As soon as he entered, he almost laughed in relief.

"Jem." The small voice whispered, voice raw with pain.

"Tessa, good morning." He spoke, reaching her bedside in seconds. His eyes rose only a fraction from her face, catching a slight movement in the corner of his eye. He hadn't realized it when he'd first walked in, but Will had been slumped to the side in a chair next to Tessa. His hand supported his jaw, the other dropped loosely across his folded legs as he slept, uninterrupted by the mid-morning light that streamed through the window. Jem felt a pang of something, but decided it best to ignore.

"Morning." Tessa replied weakly, her eyes slipping shut as she drug in a sharp breath.

Jem immediately rested his hand atop hers, concern painting his expression. "Tessa, is everything alright? Would you like me to get you something?"

Tessa nodded slightly, tilting her head a bit to the side. "Water, please."

He nodded, striding to a corner table on the opposite end of the room where a pitcher of water sat, along with a few glasses. Quickly filling one, he returned to Tessa. Smiling sadly, he set it on her bedside table. She had seemingly fallen back asleep, her lips parted against the pillow. Jem stroked a hand over her hair, stooping to brush a kiss on her cheek before turning to leave.

A rustle of fabric caught his attention, a mop of messy black hair shifting slightly on the backing of Will's chair. Jem smiled sadly to himself, glad that William was finally acting kind towards Tessa. _'She needs it now more than ever.'_ He thought, turning to click the door shut behind him. It would be as if he was never there, while Will would remain as she awoke. He was a ghost.

He knew of Will's feelings for Tessa, which he was positive she knew nothing about. That was the reason he had begun to pull away from the girl, playing nothing more than the part of a caring friend. Jem knew in his heart that William deserved Tessa. After losing Cecily, he needed someone to fill in the gap in his heart, though he would never admit that to himself. Jem was sick, and he was dying. He didn't need anyone to tell him that he had only a small amount of time left in this world, especially not Tessa. She didn't deserve a man who would tell her that he loved her, only to break her heart with his departure.

So that is why, as he began his walk to Charlotte's office, he closed the door in his heart that would always yearn for the one and only woman he had ever loved.

**The Infirmary, Three Hours Later**

Will jolted awake, the boom of the double doors enough to shake the floor. Multiple footsteps echoed around them, Charlotte and Magnus Bane coming to a stop at the foot of Tessa's bed. Immediately alert, his gaze snapped to the girl before him.

Tessa grimaced, trying her best to smile at him as she hoisted herself to her elbow. Though there were prominent circles beneath her smoky eyes, she seemed well-rested.

"Miss Gray." Clearing his throat, Magnus slid around the bed-side, shuffling in between Will and her. He heard a mumbled greeting, followed by the sound of movement as the warlock lowered a hand to grip her wrist. "Please, Miss Gray." He spoke, motioning with a grim look for her to turn away. From his position on the chair, Will could see the flicker of fear glaze in her eyes as she stooped to bury her face in the pillow beneath her. Charlotte wrapped her arms around herself, her eyes fluttering shut as if she couldn't bear to watch.

Confused, Will craned to the side.

The thin fingers of Magnus's free hand danced over the exposed flesh of Tessa's wrist around the patch, creating an odd, purple blush. Though her face was hidden, Will could see the obvious release of tension as her shoulders relaxed, her torso melting onto the mattress. He seemed to hesitate, seeking the edge of the blackened fabric with his fingertips.

There was a short pause as Will rose from his seat, stepping slightly to the side, closer to Tessa. He bent over her, placing a hand across her tangled, coppery curls. He could feel Magnus's stare on the back of his head, Charlotte's own confused gaze slipping over his face; and through it all, he couldn't care less.

Magnus nodded his head, as if asking for Will's permission. He merely looked down at the girl before him, saying nothing in return. He wouldn't be responsible for her pain, not again.

As if sensing what was about to happen, Tessa shuddered, the feeling traveling up Will's arm and into his very soul. Her free arm wrapped around her head, shoving the hair from her face as her eyes locked with his. He felt the breath leave his lungs, the sudden urge to protect her overwhelming as Magnus's hand hovered over the bandage.

"It's time." Magnus spoke, his voice hard. Tessa's eyes glazed in fear, her free hand cupping over her mouth, as if to restrain herself.

Everything that happened next was a blur as Magnus, in one solid movement, stripped away the tape.

The skin beneath looked as red as a bruised apple, an odd-ink-like substance pooling from the pores and dripping to the sheets beneath it. Tessa twisted away, wrenching at her arm as Magnus immediately resumed the treatment. His hand smoothed over the irritated skin, darkening it to a deep violet. Mouthing a spell of sorts, his unwavering gaze held strong through Tessa's resistance.

Will watched in horror as tears streaked over her cheeks and fingers, the hand sealing her mouth closed quivering. He fell to his knees beside her, placing his hands on either side of her face. She shook with barely contained sobs, reaching towards him. He could feel himself sink into her, burying his face in the crook of her neck as she hooked her arm around his own. "Tessa, Tess, it's okay, everything's going to be okay," he whispered, her ragged, uneven breaths loud in ears. He closed his eyes, Charlotte's quiet whimper enough to shatter any sort of control he may have had before.

"Alright," Magnus said, slightly breathless. "That should do it."

Will lifted his head to see the newly bandaged wound, the flesh around the gauze a strange shade of violet. Feeling two sets of eyes upon him, he made to rise from his obviously embarrassing position on the floor. The arm around his neck tightened, its partner nestling itself against Tessa's chest between them. The girl's head shook as she drug in a ragged breath. "Please, don't _go_."

Officially distracted from their companions, his attention focused itself on the only person in the room he, at the moment, cared about. He pulled back only enough to scrutinize her, assessing her with a dozen hushed questions. Straining a small smile, her closed eyes brimmed as she pressed her forehead to his shoulder.

"Are you sure you're alright? Do you need me to get you anything?"

"I'm fine, I'm fine."

"Tessa…"

"Honestly, I'll be okay."

"But-"

"Will?"

The small informality, no matter how many times he had heard it, sent his heart racing. Her small voice misted in the space between them, creating a bubble of warmth.

"…?"

"…Thank you."

He noticed that they were alone only when the resounding slam of the infirmary doors shook the walls, dousing them in silence.

"Tess." He spoke, the name slipping out before he could stop himself.

She didn't respond, but merely hugged him to her. He could feel the bump of her knees as they curled towards her chest, against him. His hands, still cupping her face, drew soft circles on her cheeks with the pads of his thumbs. He breathed in the perfume of her, burying his face in her neck once more. She sighed in contentment, every part of her wishing, _hoping_ that this was real. That it wasn't a dream, something that would fade just as quickly as it had come.

As if hearing her thoughts allowed, Will made a decision. He pulled back slightly, watching the barely concealed hurt flit across Tessa's face. A draft of cold settled between them as his eyes burned into hers.

"W-Will…" she whispered, swallowing back a knot of fear, a _different_ type of fear. When he didn't answer her, she bit her lip, her eyes glassy.

Dumbstruck, Will gaped, shaking his head. "Tessa, no, you don't understand-" he spluttered, wiping away a stray tear from the corner of her eye.

She winced, visibly breaking apart. "Don't, Will, you don't have to say it." Removing herself from him, she pushed herself back and turned away.

He gripped her arm, making her face him. "Tessa, listen to me!" His sudden outburst surprised her, her eyes going wide as she waited for him to continue.

"God, Tess…" he moaned as her face crumbled, once again misunderstanding him. _'Why shouldn't she?'_ he thought, watching as she turned away. He rose, sitting himself on the bed next to her. _'I've hurt her enough before for her to expect something completely different.' _

"Tess, I-I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Her breath hitched at the back of her throat, leaving her stunned. Had she really heard him say such a thing?

He shifted nervously, thrown off his guard by her silence. Suddenly anxious to hear her voice, he continued. "All of the things that I"ve said to you, anything that has hurt you, I didn't mean it. You just-you just don't understand, Tessa! We can't be together!" he blurted, clenching his fists in the sheets as he stared at her back.

Tessa exhaled slowly, squeezing her eyes shut as his words hit her. Her lips smashed together in a line as she fought to hold everything in; she knew this was going to happen. However, his next words surprised her, leaving her breathless.

"We can't be together because it would hurt _you_ Tessa. I'm just…not right. I'd hurt you because I'm not good enough for you."

He felt childish, vulnerable as he looked away. The slight vibration of the bed told him that Tessa was now facing him, a pale hand resting on his shoulder before bringing tilting his chin up. _God, why does she have to be so beautiful?_

She opened he r mouth as if to respond, but said nothing. Her eyes scanned his face, her hand dropping to brush the collar of his shirt. She rose to sit as he leaned towards her, tentatively pressing his lips to hers.

Tessa did nothing to stop him, but deepened the kiss. Her hands found his neck, pulling him closer until there was hardly an inch of space between them. His mind whirled as her fingers wound their way through his hair and her lips paused in an attempt to catch her breath. He nearly laughed, finding himself in the same tousled state upon closer examination.

"Will." She breathed, brushing her lips across his. He shuddered, the movement enough to clear his mind. Smiling softly, she pulled him into an embrace that he warmly returned. "Will, I remember everything." Her voice, raw with pain and sleep, sounded relieved.

He pulled away slightly, stunned. "You remember? How?"

Tessa's face broke into a grin, her eyes falling to her still exposed wrist. "I suppose that it did work, after all."

Will's gaze followed Tessa's, his shoulders tensing beneath her arms. "What are you saying? The iratze actually _worked?_"

Tessa breathed a laugh, nodding her head. "I suppose so."

Looking back up at her, he couldn't help but smile. This hadn't changed anything; he still had a price to collect from the certain someone who did this to his Tessa.

The moment flickered with the small shadow of sadness that seemed to cloud her features as Tessa gazed up at him. Biting her lip in small, forced smile, she nuzzled into him. Her arms wrapped around his torso, as if she were clinging to him.

"Tessa?" he questioned softly, confused by her silence.

She merely shook her head, the lack of movement against his arms telling him that her breathing was strained.

He stroked his palm across her back and hair, confused. What could she be upset about? She _lived,_ and not only that, but remembered. The iratze worked, even though the price was nearly her life.

And then it dawned on him; she was afraid. Not of the Enclave, not of various Shadowhunter treatments, but of _him_. The way she looked at him, as if he was a picture with edges being eaten away by fire. As if he were smoke, and she could see right through him to the inevitable ending.

"Oh, God." He choked, surprising himself as he said it aloud. He gripped her shoulders firmly, and pulled her back, holding her no more than a foot away. Her eyes were still swollen from before, yet they were dry. Nothing more than a deep, utter sadness resonated in their grey depths as he appraised her. She said nothing, an expecting look upon her face.

He sighed, forcing a smile. "Tessa." The words left him, hanging in the air. He could end it all right now, just like he knew was better for her. Or, he could stay like this, in her arms, forever. It was a choice he made selfishly, but he didn't care. He wouldn't hurt her ever again, and that was his decision as he crushed his lips to hers for a second time.

Too stunned to respond, Tessa grabbed his face between her hands and pulled him away with a small smile she couldn't quite conceal. She waited for him to say something, anything as her thumb ran across his bottom lip. If it never lasted, she had this to remember.

His face, so close to hers, showed nothing but a serene display of a man who seemed to know what he was about to say-and was confident about it.

"Tess," he whispered, reveling in the way her eyes lit with the use of her nickname. "I love you."

The words caressed her cheeks in warm puffs of breath, making her dizzy. Had she heard right?

"I love you, and I'll never hurt you again." He repeated, his voice gaining momentum towards the end, his eyes serious as they bore into hers, begging her to understand. A part of him cowered under her silvery stare, afraid of the rejection that was sure to follow. He had hurt her too much, too deeply for her to accept such a thing. He knew this, and yet he waited patiently for her response.

She blinked, exhaling sharply. A breathtaking smile broke across her face as it hit her, the truth of his promise. "I love you too."

Biting back her tears, she clung to him and him to her. He inhaled the smell of her hair, the faintest waft of lavender and honey reaching him through the coating of sweat and blood that clung to her skin. His whole life had been one disappointment, one mistake after the other. He couldn't remember the countless times he told himself that he had lost everything; when this couldn't be more of a lie. Everything that he could ever want and more, he had in his arms.

The two remained like this for an unknown amount of time, eventually ending with them both tangled together, asleep for the second time, upon Tessa's bed. Only Sohpie had come to check in on them, nearly dropping her mop and bucket upon her discovery. Of course, she said nothing to anyone whom she happened pass in the hallways-no matter how scandalous.

About half the day later, Tessa's eyes cracked against the dim evening light that trickled in through the overhead windows. She made to look around, only to find her view obstructed by something, or someone. Smiling to herself, she tilted her head up slightly to look into the face of her love, her life, her heart. He looked peaceful as he slept, his hair disheveled, but oddly appealing as the faint silver undertones glowed in the shadows. Moving closer to him, she leaned her head against his chest. She'd never felt so relaxed, so alive.

A sharp, sudden click surprised her. Hearing the sound of footsteps and hushed voices had her closing her eyes and hiding her face in Will's chest. She tried her best to feign sleep as the room went quiet.

"Oh, my…" a feminine voice chirped, followed by a shuffle of fabric. She heard the clearing of what she expected to be Charlotte's throat. "I suppose that means they'll be missing supper."

Tessa, glad that her face was concealed, flushed.

The two sets of footsteps faded until they were in the hall, behind the closed infirmary door.

A chuckle sounded in her ear, making her jump in surprise. "I hope you're not hungry, then." Will commented, a slight question in his voice as brushed the hair from her eyes.

Tessa smiled, closing her eyes; she had no idea he had been awake. "How embarrassing."

Will said nothing, but planted a soft kiss on her forehead.

**A/N: There you go, what do you think? **

**Now, I have a propostion: **

**I leave this story on the happy, high note that it's at and continue on with my second story.**

**I put off my second story, and continue this. The second part would be a delve into the repercussions after Tessa's incident with the Clave. The Clave would have a bigger part in the second part-though the plot will be a secret until you decide. ;) **

**I'll be awaiting your opinions, thank you again everyone.**

**For both your patience and your loyalty, I love you. ^^**


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